


Ashes and Scars

by MommaAppleJuice



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Anxiety kind of, Depression, Drinking, Gay Stuff, Just a Poor Mess, Kinda dark?, M/M, Mental Illness, Modern Boy in Thedas, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, PTSD, Tags Are Hard, hopefully funny, mbit, mental breakdowns
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2019-12-25 13:26:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 21,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18262226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MommaAppleJuice/pseuds/MommaAppleJuice
Summary: An ex-military man wakes up after a lethal crash in a world unlike his own, plagued with war and death. Can he help sway the plot without revealing who he truly is?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so nervous to post on here, its just always seemed so professional and adult-ish. I'll do my best to keep this entertaining! I'm also an inconsistent updater, being a busy student, I'll try my best to update as often as possible!

  It started like every other day, nothing out of the ordinary; Alex Smith, ex-Captain from the Air Force, Special Tactics Officer, pulling himself from the comfort of the bed to get ready for the day. He rolled his stiff shoulders with a wince, before following through with a few of his daily morning stretches. Once he was finished, he glanced around his bedroom. His eyes caught on his Playstation, putting up a mental sticky note to finish the most recent Dragon Age game after grocery shopping. Alex then headed to his bathroom with a long yawn. He lived in a quaint apartment with one bedroom, decorated minimally but still home-y enough to keep his mother from hounding him. Upon reaching his destination, he stared at himself in the mirror for a moment, rubbing his scruff and taking in the person who stared back at him.

  Alex wasn't scrawny by any means, lean and muscled. His curly, dark ginger hair was long on top, with faded sides. His face was lined with a light scruff, clean and simple. A light dusting of freckles rested under his green-hazel eyes, with dark bags highlighted due to his paler skin. A small scar cut his left eyebrow's soft arch, all stray hairs plucked. His lips were more on the thin side, with a soft cupid's bow and a bigger bottom lip. Turning around, he took in the large burn scar that took up the majority of his back with sad eyes. It reached from the top of his right shoulder all the way to the left side of the small of his back. It's width was about half a foot. After assessing himself, he washed his face with cold water, before taking out his daily pills and downing them dry. They weren't for any pain, his injury had completely healed by now, leaving behind damaged nerves. He could no longer feel certain spots, but it made the entire area tight. The physical therapy had made life a lot easier for him post-healing. No, they were for his mental health.

He wandered out into his living area, pulling his plush robe closer to his body as he started the coffee machine. Alex massaged his shoulder lightly, waiting patiently for his coffee to brew. Once it was ready, he poured himself a generous cup and sipped the strong, boiling hot liquid. Setting it to the side to cool, he returned to his bedroom, changing into a warm beige sweater and simple jeans, sliding his feet into fuzzy socks and black converse. Alex made his bed with quick efficiency, then grabbing his black leather backpack on his way back to his coffee.

While sipping the caffeinated beverage, his phone went off. "Hello?" He answered in his soft, smooth baritone voice. "Alex! Good morning sweetheart. How are you doing?" His mother was on the other end, her tone affectionate and just as soft. "Good morning. I'm doing as okay as you can expect. I was about to head off to the library to get some work done. How's you and Buster?" He replied. "We're good, he misses you terribly. He's always hanging around your old room. I know you said you needed space, but you know my door's always open for you." She reminded him. He could hear the worry in her voice, and it filled him with guilt. "I know. I'll see if I can visit sometime soon. I'll call you later, mom. I gotta get some work done today." He said, hoping to end the conversation quickly.

  "Okay, sweetie. I love you very much." Ms. Smith said. Alex could practically see the smile on her lips. "I love you too, mom. Talk to you soon." He said, before hanging up and pocketing his phone with a sigh. He finished off his first cup, then poured the second into a large tumbler. Alex pulled on a warm leather jacket over his sweater, swinging the backpack onto his shoulder and heading out the door. Locking it behind him, he began the short walk towards the library he frequented, shivering slightly as the cold winds nipped at his clothes. 

  Alex hurried into the nearly empty library, settling into his usual chair in the furthest corner that was cocooned by books. He pulled out his laptop and a fluffy blanket from the hefty backpack, curling up comfortably in preparations of finishing up his newest article he'd been working on. Nobody bothered him as he sat in relative silence, the only noise coming from his keyboard and those reading. The corner was dark and warm enough to put him at ease, allowing him focus solely on his work. His hands flew across the keyboard at an impressive rate. Next thing he knew, it'd been about two hours since he'd arrived. Alex stretched his arms again, groaning softly as he released a few pops from his cramped joints. He saved his work before tucking both of his items back into the backpack, as well as his empty coffee cup. 

  On his way out, Alex waved to the elderly librarian before exiting back into the chilled outdoors. "Groceries." He reminded himself softly, beginning the trek towards the local grocery store. Watching the sign for the okay to cross the road, he and a few others began walking toward the other side. A loud squeal caught most of their attention, coming from a large truck that barreled towards them at an alarming rate. While the other pedestrians hurried to one side fearfully, Alex saw a young teen rooted to her spot with large doe eyes locked on the uncontrollable vehicle.

  Without another thought, he bolted towards her, using his momentum to shove her as far away as he could. Now in the truck's line of fire, he could do nothing but close his eyes as the truck rammed into his body full force. 

  While he'd expected hot pain, instead a cool numbness took over his being. He could faintly hear crying and screaming, as well as sirens off in the distance. Alex was too tired to keep a hold on his consciousness anymore, drifting off with only his mom on his mind.


	2. The Awakening

  Pain. Red, hot pain was spread all throughout his body as he faded in and out of consciousness. He saw flashes of a dark room, built with stone, and remembered voices. He couldn't make out anything they were saying, but they were either angry, confused, or something neutral. Alex was slow to come to, but soon realized he'd been chained to a wall, his back unbearably sore. He rolled his wrists to try and alleviate some pain that had gathered from hanging to no avail. Slumping against the grimy wall, Alex took in his surroundings as best as he could. He was in some kind of dungeon, hanging to the wall of the main room. There were little cells on either side of him, empty. Alex could then see a figure slumped to the ground in front of him, a slightly green light emitting from them.

  Panic blurred his vision, hot tears gathering under his eyes. Alex was fucked in his mind; trapped, strung up like some fucking murderer, not to mention it was cold and dark. His chest seized as he wheezed, shivers wrecking his body. While seconds passed by, they dragged on for Alex, each passing moment filled with excruciating pain and torment as he was stuck in his head. Eventually, Alex was able to gain control of himself, tears sliding down his grimy face. Taking in deep breaths, he finally realized the guards that stared back at him with either fear or disgust. They wore mismatch armor, which made him pause. Where the hell WAS he?

  A small groan drew his attention to the woman in front of him as she shifted onto her knees, platinum blond hair spilling over her shoulders in waves, places matted with blood, sweat, and dirt. The way she held herself told him of her own injuries. Her dark green ensemble screamed familiarity, but he couldn't quite pinpoint where he'd seen it. Looking at himself, he'd been changed into a scratchy tunic and matching pants, giving him some kind of Skyrim vibe. He could feel the familiar ache of wounds on his person, but no blood had seeped into the scratchy clothing, so he assumed he'd at least been somewhat treated. All of a sudden, the door was thrown open, causing himself and the woman to jump, who was now sitting straight up. The women that walked in caused his eyes to widen in disbelief, staring at them in fearful confusion.

  Sister Leliana and Seeker Cassandra Pentaghast walked in, one's footsteps silent while the other thudded heavily, echoing in the dungeon. "Tell me why we shouldn't kill you now." Cassandra spat harshly, her attention focused on the yet-to-be Herald and Inquisitor. "The Conclave is destroyed. Everyone who attended is dead. Except for you." Her words were pointed and harsh as she glared at the both of them, causing Alex to shrink into himself. "You think I'm responsible?" The small woman spoke softly, her British-like accent apparent. Her tone was disbelieving, but also had an undertone of grief. Casandra ignored her. "Explain this!" The Seeker demanded as she grabbed the Herald's wrist in a tight grasp. "I.. can't!" She stammered in pain as the Anchor flared up wildly. Alex stared at it, mentally screaming in confusion. How can this be happening? "What do you mean you can't?!" She was fed up and angry in her grief, looking as if to strike her. "I-I don't know what that is, or how it got there!" She exclaimed, flinching away from the angry woman. The Seeker nearly lunged at her. "You're lying!" The only thing that kept her from hitting the poor woman was Sister Nightingale, who held her back by the arm. "We need her, Cassandra." She said softly, trying to ease the woman's temper slightly.

  They both then turned to Alex, causing him to flinch under their heavy stares. "What do you have to say for yourself?" Leliana asked him. He could see no openings as to her emotions, body language demonstrating a confidence and calmness he knew she didn't currently possess. Cassandra, however, was an open book. Her temper was raising, fueled by her own grief and confusion. He knew he had to come up with something quick; they'd think he's crazy if he told them he was supposed to be dead. "I-I'm nobody, ma'am. I was on my way to the nearby market when I'd lost consciousness. Last thing I knew, I woke up chained." Alex stammered, not having to fake the shock and confusion he needed to display. Both women took the information, narrowing their eyes at him suspiciously. Of course neither were going to trust anything that came out of his mouth.

  The Herald shook as emotions overcame her. "I don't understand. All those people... dead?" She whispered, whimpering weakly as another shock went through her. The two Hands of the Divine returned their full attention to the woman. "Do you remembered what happened? How this began?" Leliana asked in a convincingly gentle tone. "I remember running, things were chasing me. And then.. a woman? She reached out to me, but..." The woman relayed what she remembered with a quiver in her voice. "Go to the forward camp, Leliana. I will take them to the the rift." The Seeker decided. The redhead nodded her consent, helping Alex down from his constraints while Cass took care of the Herald. He could now see that she was human. Trevelyan, then. He filed the information in the back of his head.

  Her cheeks were stained with tears, causing his heart to clench to see her in such distress. He leaned heavily on Leliana for a moment, taking in a deep breath to refocus his attention. She rebound his hands in rope, much like the Herald's. She guided him to Cass, before disappearing out the door. "What did happen?" She asked, looking up at the Seeker. "It would be easier to show you." Was all Cassandra offered, before herding them out of the Chantry. The cold air hit him hard, sending him into shivers. Alex glanced at soldiers they passed, their glares laying on heavy but he didn't dare show how it affected him. Lady Trevelyan didn't have such luck, cowering slightly from them. The two prisoners looked to the skies to see the Breach, a large and angry scar. Cassandra went on to explain things to them, but Alex couldn't hear what she was saying as panic began to blind him.

  It was real, here and in his face. The weight of his situation laid right on his shoulders, and it took a lot of controlled breathing and focus to keep himself away from another panic attack. 'How is this fucking possible' was the only question he desperately wanted answered, but he had a feeling it would remain unanswered for a while. His almost hyperventilating drew attention, a heavy hand on his shoulder coming from the Seeker herself. She looked at him sternly, but he could spot the hint of concern. He controlled his breathing, focused on her touch to ground himself. Once he was stable enough, Cassandra backed off.

  "I understand." Trevelyan replied. "Then..?" "I'll do what I can. Whatever it takes." She replied stoically. Cassandra seemed to relax slightly at her words, nodding in approval. "I will as well. I may not have a glowing portal in my hand, but I can hold my weight in a fight." Alex managed to say, rather smoothly if he had anything to say about it. Cass turned her attention to him and offered another nod to him. She cut their bindings hesitantly, deciding to trust the two not to run off now that they'd pledged their support. The trio were soon trekking through Haven, leaving the angry mob of soldiers and villagers behind them as they ascended toward the churning Breach.


	3. Introductions

The hike up the mountain helped Alex keep out of his head, instead focused on moving forward, as well as the biting numbness from the cold working its way up from his icy feet. The worn boots they'd given him did little to nothing, holey and thin, and wearing no socks made it guaranteed that he'd be receiving blisters. As they moved on through the snow, Lady Trevelyan collapsed multiple times due to the pain coursing through her arm. Alex did his best to offer his support to her, allowing her to lean on him. She seemed grateful for his help, so he continued his efforts. An unspoken kinship between the two prisoners, and that was enough to keep Alex's own pain at bay. He had someone to protect, after all. As they were crossing over a bridge, Cassandra still talking, a large crackle cut through the air as a meteor of sorts struck the structure, sending the three of them tumbling down some rocks and onto the frozen lake below it.

  Alex was quick to return to his feet, groaning softly in pain before he spotted the fallen Herald. He helped her to her feet, the Seeker already on her feet and snarling at the demons swarming her. Looking around for something to defend themselves, he found a set of daggers and a sword resting against the box seen in the prologue of the game. Alex handed off the dual daggers to Lady Trevelyan quickly, taking the sword into his left hand as he stood in front of her protectively. While Alex had never fought with a sword, he knew knives and close-quarter combat well enough that he'd hoped it would suffice.

  Two Shades cornered the prisoners, Alex lunging at the closest one,swinging the blade almost expertly at the grotesque being. It hit with a wet sound, flinging black goo everywhere as he cleaved through the Shade like butter. As it disintegrated, he turned to find the Herald defending his back with a frown etched into her features, ending her own fight with the Shade swiftly. Now that he had a good look at her, she was quite beautiful, with high cheekbones and a heart-shaped face, framed with her shoulder-length bright blonde hair. She had golden skin, and was to his chin in height.

  "Drop your weapons! Now!" Cassandra commanded. Alex glanced at Lady Trevelyan, who returned the look, before slowly moving to place them on the ground. "Alright, have it your way." She said. "Wait." The Seeker paused, hesitant. "I cannot protect you, and I cannot expect you to be defenseless." She looked as if to leave, before looking at them from over her shoulder. "I should remember you both came willingly." Alex straightened up, smiling slightly with a nod. Although these were all words he'd heard many times through each playthrough, it still made him feel a little better knowing he was on his way to Cassandra's good side. 

  Said woman passed a few health potions to him and the Herald. "Take these potions. Maker knows what we will face." Alex thanked her, Trevelyan following suit, before the trio began the hike once more. "Before we're thrown back into battle, what's your name?" Alex asked the Herald. It'd always bothered him that no one even knew her name, yet were willing to let her risk her hide. "Evelyn. Evelyn Trevelyan. You?" She said, as if she was surprised someone cared enough to even ask. "Alex Smith." He replied with a small smile. "A pleasure, Lady Trevelyan." He added, before Cassandra stopped them. "Down there. If we flank them, we may have the advantage." She advised. The three of them put her plan into action, taking care of the Wraiths and Shades with efficiency. As they progressed, they could soon hear the sounds of battle. 

  "We're getting closer to the rift. You can hear the fighting." Cassandra pointed out. "Who's fighting?" Alex asked, panting a bit from all the climbing. "You'll see soon. We must help them." As soon as we reached the soldiers, the trio didn't hesitate to leap to their aid, swinging and battling their way through the demons. Alex spotted Varric and Solas out of the corner of his eye, aiding the battle however they could. As soon as the demons were gone, Solas grabbed Evelyn's hand and thrust it toward the rift. "Quickly, before more come through!" After a few seconds, she snapped the rift closed with the help of the elf. "What did you do?" She asked, a bit breathless from fighting as she looked up at him. He offered a small smile. "I did nothing. The credit is yours." He said.

  The Herald glanced down at the Anchor. "Glad this is good for something." She said with a dry chuckle. Solas continued. “Whatever magic opened the Breach in the sky also placed that mark upon your hand. I theorized the mark might be able to close the rifts that have opened in the Breach’s wake – and it seems I was correct.” He explained in depth. "Meaning it could also close the Breach itself." Cassandra assumed, warranting a nod from the knowledgeable elf. "Possibly. It seems you hold the key to our salvation." He said, aiming the last part at Evelyn. "Good to know! Here I thought we'd be ass-deep in demons forever." The dwarf interjected with a grin, relief hidden behind it. "Varric Tethras: rogue, storyteller, and occasionally, unwelcome tagalong." He introduced, earning a disgusted noise from Cassandra and chuckles from Alex. 

  "Pleased to meet you." Evelyn said with a warm smile. "And might I say, that's a nice crossbow you have there." Alex added, already put a bit more at ease with the friendly vibes the dwarf gave off. "Ahh, isn't she? Bianca and I have been through a lot together." He said, giving her a loving pat as the ex-captain chuckled. "Maybe I should name my sword; I have a feeling we'll be well acquainted soon enough." He said humorously, earning a small grunt from the Seeker and a grin from Varric. "Bianca will be great company in the valley." Cassandra shook her head. "Absolutely not. Your help is appreciated Varric, but – " Cass was cut off. "Have you been in the valley lately, Seeker? Your soldiers aren’t in control anymore. You need me.” With another grunt, Cassandra begrudgingly nodded. "My name is Solas, if there are to be introductions. I am pleased you still live." Varric could see the confusion of Evelyn's face. "He means, 'I kept that mark from killing you in your sleep.'" He translated. Evelyn nodded in understanding.

  "Then you have my thanks." She said with a gracious nod of the head. Solas grimaced slightly. "Thank me if we manage to close the Breach without killing you in the process." The Herald sobered a bit at hearing that, her face drooping a bit. Alex glared at Solas for the pessimistic comment. "Before we go off and try to kill her without even knowing her name, it's Evelyn." He added, a bit irritated and uncaring that he changed up the lines. She smiled at him, patting him on the shoulder softly in thanks. Everyone had remained silent after his comment, and he hoped they were thinking on it.

  The five of them continued towards the Breach, fighting demons along the way. "So I take it you're from the Free Marches?" Varric asked Evelyn. "Oh?" She hummed questioningly. "Accent. I’m from Kirkwall, but you’re from… further east, maybe?” He gambled. She looked a bit impressed. "That's quite the ear you have." She complimented, causing the dwarf to grin. "I'm all kinds of impressive." He bragged, causing the Seeker and Alex to snort, though one was in laughter and the other from something else. "How about you, Spitfire?" He asked, turning his attention to Alex. He rose an eyebrow at the nickname before shrugging. "Small town in Ferelden, but its hasn't been the same prior to the Blight. Before I joined the military." The lie rolled off his tongue easily, half truths being all he could offer in the spur of the moment.

  Evelyn took in a sharp breath as the Anchor flared angrily once more, causing looks of concern from the group. "We must hurry, before the mark consumes her." Solas said as Alex offered her support. She took it gratefully, and the five of them carried on. "So... are you innocent?" Varric asked curiously. "We don't remember much from the explosion." Alex answered for the both of them. "That'll get you every time. Should have spun a story." He said. "That's what you would've done, Varric." Cassandra retorted with a huff. "It’s more believable, and less prone to result in premature execution.” The entourage was plunged back into silence as they climbed up the stairs. There, they fought off another wave of demons. As Alex slashed through them, he wiped the goop off his face. Despite his muscles burning from exhaustion, he didn't hesitate to return to Evelyn's side to continue helping her. 

  "I hope Leliana's made it through all this." Cassandra murmured worriedly. "She's resourceful, Seeker." Varric reassured her. Continuing on the path, they reached the top of the hill, face to face with the second rift. They worked quickly to dispatch the demons, assisted by the soldiers who'd been guarding the doors with their lives. Alex cleaved through the Shades and Wraiths, becoming more used to the weight of his sword. Evelyn managed to close it once more as soon as the last of them were dealt with. "The rift is gone! Open the gates!" Cass called to the soldiers on the other side, who scrambled to open the gates for us. Evelyn and Alex sagged with relief, glad for the swift break as they approached the Chancellor and Sister Leliana.


	4. The Ascent

As they approached Leliana and Chancellor Roderick, Evelyn and Alex took a seat on some crates nearby. "This is crazy. Absolutely insane. How can an explosion do this?" She rambled to herself, covering her face with her hands as she teared up. Alex scooted closer to her, wincing as his back lit up with pain. His adrenaline was wearing off. "Listen, hun. This is a shitty situation, and it looks pretty fucking bad. But we can get through this. We got your back, you hear?" He said, hoping his shitty pep-talk was good enough to keep her going for however long this would last. It seemed to work enough for the time being, with the Trevelyan lowering her hands and smiling at him slightly. "Thank you. Lets hope we can end this quickly." She replied softly, before standing and joining the gang. Alex took in a deep breath to regain control of his focus, before getting up himself.

  As he approached the group, he heard Evelyn put in her two sense. "Shouldn't closing the Breach be the most pressing issue?" She said with her arms crossed and her hip jutted to the side. "You brought this on us in the first place!" He shouted, face turning red with his anger. Alex glared him down as he took his place beside the woman. "Call a retreat, Seeker. Our position here is hopeless." He ordered pessimistically, but Cassandra shook her head defiantly. "We can stop this, before it is too late." She stressed. Alex spaced out a bit as they argued some more, then turning their gazes to Evelyn. "How do you think we should proceed?" Cassandra asked her, arms crossed. Alex could see the gears turning in the Herald's head, and decided to help her out. "If we went the mountain path, there's a possibility those soldiers could still be alive. Charging with the soldiers will end this faster, but we will lose those scouts." He whispered to her, trying to help her make a decision, but without revealing too much of what he knew. "Then we'll take the mountain path. Those scouts won't die needlessly." She said, loud enough for the others to hear her decision. With a nod, Cassandra turned to Leliana with the orders.

  Alex made sure to down his last potion before restocking, numbing his pain as they began the long climb up into the mountain. He could see everything from the mouth of the cave, watching the soldiers risking their lives to give Evelyn a fighting chance before he turned and followed them into the cave. There, they fought off a few demons, before heading further into the tunnels. They gathered whatever supplies still lingered within, not wanting to leave them to waste. Soon enough, they looked over the bodies that lay on the ground. Alex looked upon them with a heavy heart, inhaling deeply to gain control of his emotions again. It hit too close to home, similar to missions he'd been on during his service. The loss of his soldiers was always a deep wound in his psych, and was hard to see it again. "Guess we found the soldiers." Varric murmured. "That cannot be all of them." Cassandra pointed out. "So the others could be holed up ahead?" He asked hopefully. "Our priority must be the Breach. Unless we seal it, no one is safe." Solas reminded everyone. "I'm leaving that up to the woman with the glowing hand." Varric added, before they fell silent in their focus of reaching the other soldiers.

  At the end of the path was indeed the rest of the missing scouts, fighting off the demons as best they could, and shielding the injured tiredly. The group swung right into the action, defending them. "Thank the Maker!" One exclaimed, obviously relived for the assistance. They all killed off the rest of the demons, Evelyn closing the rift swiftly. "Sealed, as before. You are becoming quite proficient at this." Solas praised. "Lets just hope it works on the big one." “Thank the Maker you finally arrived, Lady Cassandra. I don’t think we could have held out much longer." The lieutenant thanked, bowing her head in gratitude. "Thank the Lady Trevelyan, Lieutenant. She insisted we come this way." Cassandra shifted the thanks to Evelyn, who bowed her head. "The prisoner? Then you...?" She trailed off. "It was worth the risk." Evelyn added with a smile. "You have my sincere gratitude." Said the lieutenant, saluting the Herald. She bowed her head modestly.

  Cassandra hurriedly dismissed the soldiers to return to Haven with the injured, before leading toward the Breach. In front of the posse was the desecrated Temple of Sacred Ashes, the bodies of many innocents coated in ash, preserving their last minutes of life. Alex couldn't hold back the bile that lead a trail of fire up to his mouth, leaning to the side and emptying his stomach of all the liquids he'd ingested in the past few hours. Evelyn rubbed his back soothingly until he was finished, Varric offering a waterskin when he was finished. Alex rinsed his mouth out before handing it back with a thankful nod. “That is where you walked out the Fade and our soldiers found you. They said a woman was in the rift behind you. No one knows who she was.” Cassandra offered. "You emerged from a rift not too far off, bloody and unconscious. We feared you were another demon, some kind of gimmick." She offered the last tidbit to Alex, who thought over this new information.

  They carried on towards the closest point of the Breach, pausing when they heard snippets of voices, the voice of the Divine, as well as the rumble of something more sinister. They stopped in front of a shimmery vision, showing a dark figure holding the Most Holy in place with some kind of magic. Alex watched with a frown as Evelyn intervened with the ritual. However, he himself was nowhere visible, leaving him questioning where he fit in with the whole equation. "You were there! Who attacked? And the Divine, is she…? Was this vision true? What are we seeing?” Cassandra questioned the Herald, who looked cornered. "I don't remember!" She stressed, looking as confused as the Seeker. "Echoes of what happened here. The Fade bleeds into this place. This rift is not sealed, but it is closed… albeit temporarily. I believe with the mark, the rift can be opened and then sealed properly and safely. However, opening the rift will likely attract attention from the other side.” Solas elaborated tensely. "That means demons. Stand ready!" Cassandra ordered, everyone readying themselves for the fight to come.


	5. The Breach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad people are enjoying my work thus far, and I hope you'll continue to read and give feedback! : )

Alex watched with bated breath as Evelyn connected to the rift below the Breach, coaxing it into reopening with a grimace on her face. As soon as it opened, a loud roar thundered around them as the Pride demon materialized. After a second of hesitation, everyone leaped to arms and chased the demon, who's sights were concentrated on the Herald. Alex didn't hesitate to defend her, shouting at the demon to redirect it's attacks to him. "Disrupt the rift!" He ordered, uncaring about who'd hear as blood rushed in his ears. 

  The electric whip of Pride missed him by a hair as he rolled out of the way, popping back onto his feet and resuming the chase. He'd seen that Evelyn took his advice, gripping the ropes of the rift and yanking on them, causing it to reopen and stun the Pride demon. Once it fell to its knees, Alex and many others used this opportunity to attack with everything they've got, wearing on the demon's tough skin and slicing through it. While Alex was occupied, one of the large hands of Pride batted him away, bitch-slapping him into one of the crumbling walls surrounding the battle. He whimpered in pain, trying to get back on his feet, but he slipped back down when his back howled in protest. "C'mon, Spitfire!" Varric said, offering a hand to help him back up. Alex smiled at him, although it'd distorted more into a scowl. He handed Alex a potion, who downed it with a nod of thanks. 

  Varric returned to the fight, firing bolts at lightning speed while Alex retrieved his fallen sword and ran to catch up with the demon. He could see it starting to sag and slow down from its wounds, allowing others to come in and take advantage of this. He turned his attention to Evelyn, dashing over to assist her as Shades began cornering her. Alex thrust his blade through the back of one's head, the nasty thing crumbling away into the rift. Evelyn took care of the other one, offering him a grin in thanks. She returned her attention to the rift, while Alex returned to the backside of the demon, slicing one calf open. More black substances sprayed from the wound, but he paid it no mind as he worked.

  Finally, Cassandra leaped onto the demon's back, digging her long blade into the beast as far as it would go. With a haunting howl, the demon collapsed face-first, twitching before finally crumbling away. "Seal the rift! Do it!" Cassandra called to Evelyn, who immediately complied and held her palm out for a connection. Alex saw her stance wavering from the pressure, and hurried to her side. With a snap, the rift snapped shut, the wave of energy rushing back at us. Evelyn finally passed out from the stress, Alex catching her in his arms. 

  "She did it." Cassandra said breathlessly, looking over the limp woman in his arms. Alex gathered her in his arms, carrying her bridal style. "Lets get her back to Haven. She should rest." He suggested, but left no room for conversation as he began the long trek down. The Seeker, Varric, and Solas walked with him through the snow. Alex couldn't control the shivers anymore, the winds biting his skin harshly and the snow sloshing in the worn down boots he'd had in the dungeon. "You sure you can carry her? You don't look so hot yourself." Varric asked with his brows furrowed, concerned. "I'm okay, Varric. The sooner we get back, the sooner we can all get some rest." He assured quietly, his grip on the Herald tightening protectively. He couldn't entrust her to someone else just like that, he had to be the one.

  The hike down the mountain was shorter than the climb, but he made sure not to slip in the snow. In the matter of an hour, they finally reached Haven, the villagers gazing at the unconscious woman with reverence in their eyes. Alex didn't stop for anyone, letting Cassandra lead him to the Herald's cabin. "I'll take care of her. You get some rest." He said to the rest of the group, Varric and Solas nodding their consent as they left. The Seeker hesitated. "You rest too, Ser Alex. I'll check up on you in the morning." She said stiffly, offering a quick nod before leaving too. Alex closed the door behind them and carried her over to the bed. "I couldn't make you sleep like this, how uncomfortable." He murmured tiredly, looking over her to see what he could do.

  He took off her boots and the armor, respectfully leaving her in her under armor attire. With a glance around the room, Alex spotted a washbin with water inside, a rag sitting to the side. He brought the small tub over and cleaned off whatever he could while maintaining her modesty. Once she was no longer covered in the disgusting ichor, he covered her in the blankets and stoked the fire someone had prepared before their arrival. 

Alex then left the cabin quietly, on the hunt for better clothes, the black goo covering him too much to bare any longer. His first stop was Leliana, who was leaning over her table wearily. "Sister Leliana, did I come here with anything? A bag, or weird clothes?" He was too tired to beat around the bush, nor was he one that normally did. Leliana stood up straight and looked him over nonchalantly. "No, but the Chantry can offer you new clothes until we can find you something better." She directed, hands behind her back. Knowing her nature, he didn't trust that completely, but left it alone in favor of getting clean and sleeping sooner. With a bow of his head and decision to bother her about it later, Alex set off toward the Chantry.

  Upon entering, the place was in organized chaos, some praying, pilgrims taking refuge in the building, while others attended to the injured. Alex approached the least busy person he could find. "Is there any extra clothes?" He asked, offering a tight, polite smile. The sister nodded, pointing over to some crates others were leafing through, pulling out whatever articles of clothing they needed before leaving. He thanked her before heading over, pulling out dark brown woolen breeches he hoped fit, a warm muted green tunic, boots, and a worn black cloak. He ducked out of the Chantry and headed back toward Evelyn's cabin, slipping inside quietly.

  Once he latched the door, Alex took a moment to think things over. 'Everything is gone. I might never go home,' he thought solemnly, pausing in his attempts to scrub his face. Tears blurred his vision, distorting his reflection in the murky water in the basin as they fell. He covered his mouth with one hand as he let out the first sob, his knees buckling and crushing from under him. The grief hit him like a freight train, and it hurt. Badly. He'd never see his mom again, cradled in her loving embrace. His old Golden Retriever, Buster, laying at his old bedroom door like he did every day, never to see his person. He even missed his old squad, all of the soldiers under him that'd looked up to him with the upmost respect. The tears wouldn't stop, his sobs heart-wrenching. He hated himself for thinking this, but if he'd never helped that girl, none of this would've happened. Alex would still be home, away from the wars that seem to chase him wherever he went. 

When Alex ran out of tears, he numbly finished cleaning himself. Pulling on his new attire, he looked at himself in the mirror with hollow eyes, an emptiness filling his gut. The clothes were big, but warmer than his prisoner garb, so he couldn't complain. Pulling his cloak around himself protectively, laying on the stone floors in front of the fire. Watching the flames, the dance of them lulled him into a dreamless sleep.


	6. A Better Awakening

  The next time Alex came to, it was bright, with the noise of people drifting in the air. He was rubbing his eyes, blinking away the sleepiness when the dread built a prickly nest in his stomach. He was still here, in Haven, with killer mages and templars everywhere, and deranged darkspawn lurking in the darkest corners.

"Good morning!" Evelyn chirped, causing him to jump. He didn't notice her when he first awoke, but seeing her dressed in better clothes and her dazzling smile made him mentally rein himself in. Even if he was going through his things, Evelyn needed someone else to be strong for her; she had to be everyone else's rock enough as is. Alex pulled on a small smile, his facade in place. "Good morning. You seem better." He pointed out, glad the woman was able to get over the fairly traumatic experience. 

  The Herald nodded, not noticing anything from his internal troubles. "I feel much better, though I do have my share fair of bruises." She replied, to which he responded with a chuckle. "Me too." Sitting up fully, Alex saw the pillow that'd been placed under his head, as well as the extra blanket covering him. "I couldn't just leave you on the floor. I'm sure they would've given you at least a proper place to sleep, had you asked." Evelyn frowned, as if a bit offended he'd slept on the floor. "It's okay, I'm used to it. Besides, I couldn't leave you by yourself after all that." He admitted, stretching, before grimacing as his sore muscles stung. 

  A knock at the door startled him, but Lady Trevelyan seemed to expect it. "I asked for some lunch for us, since you slept through breakfast. If we're to be working together, I wanna know more about you!" She explained, throwing another smile his way. He had a feeling she was normally this happy of a person, and it rubbed off on him. Her smiles were infectious, warm and so friendly. "I'm getting a bit ahead of myself, I'll explain." "Thank you." Alex was grateful for the better awakening, joining the Herald at the table as she grabbed whatever the courier had brought and placed it onto the table. 

  The lunch consisted of a potato and meat stew, bread rolls, and watered-down ale. Smelling the meal before him, his hunger finally made itself apparent to him. Alex tucked into his meal heartily, dipping a roll into the stew and taking bites. "So, Alex, you said you're from Ferelden? Where is your town?" She asked him, sipping her ale. He thought over his answer as he swallowed. "Yes, I am. It didn't go by any name really, not enough people to make a name for itself. My village wasn't too far from Ostagar, but it was overrun during the Blight. Everything from then has been wiped out, and everyone has fled. So once I was dismissed from the military, I traveled." The lies came more easily now that he wasn't under so much pressure. It still made him feel bad about lying to Evelyn of all people, who now looked at him sympathetically. He didn't deserve it.

  "That's awful, I'm so sorry for you loss." She apologized. Alex shrugged, looking at his plate before continuing his attack on his lunch. "It hit hard, knowing that everyone was gone, but life goes on. You've just to learn to live with it, and to carry those lost with you." He said, his voice now soft. While what he was saying was for a lie, the feelings were real. The military is a hard life, and he's lost so many people. Good people. He forced the threat of tears away. Man, was he really going to make a habit of feeling sorry for himself?

  "A-Anyways, I'm okay now." He added quickly, offering another fake smile. She moved on from the topic, sensing it was a sore subject. "So, why did you leave the military?" She asked. Alex chuckled dryly. It was almost as if her goal was to get him to cry. "Long story short, I was injured. Burned during a rescue mission, severely. It took a while to heal, but it's almost done." He summarized, not wanting to relive the incident. Evelyn nodded understandingly. 

  "Well, I'm glad you've recovered." She offered. He smiled genuinely. "Thank you. Now then, how about you? I heard you were from the Free Marches, did you live with family?" He turned the questionnaire to her, sipping his drink. "I did, I lived with my father and two older brothers. We Trevelyans are known for our wealth and connection to the Chantry in some way. In fact, I was to become a Templar before this whole.. ordeal." She waved her hands as she spoke. "My brothers and I are very close, or... were, I suppose. My eldest brother, Maxwell, lives with my father in order to become the heir, so I haven't spoken to him in.. a long time. My other brother, Arthur, was a templar. He was at the Conclave." She said, glancing down at her hands as they began to shake, her lip quivering just the slightest as she spoke of this. 

  "Come here." He said softly, opening his arms for her. Evelyn slotted herself into them, squeezing him gently as she shoved her face into his tunic. As she wept quietly, Alex held her, rubbing her back and whispering comforting things. It was kind of weird how quickly they'd taken a liking to one another, but at the same time, it made sense that they clicked, both wanting to help, but be helped too. Not to mention both had been arrested for a crime they didn't commit. Once she calmed down, he pulled away slowly. "I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure your brother was a great man." He said softly. Evelyn smiled weakly. "He was. Now then, lest I bawl my eyes out some more, I'm sure you'd like to get up and outside." She said, rubbing the tears away with her sleeve.

  Evelyn ushered Alex outdoors, the cold air rushing at him as he left the warmth of the cabin. Immediately, he noticed Haven was much larger than the game originally depicted. The village itself was at least thrice the size from the game, and it was far more busy with everyone going about their daily lives. Judging by how they bowed, saluted, or waved to the Lady Trevelyan as they passed, the villagers saw her as the Herald. "Mind giving me the grand tour? You know this place better than me." He offered with a smile. She nodded, offering her elbow. "I would be honored." She replied with a grin. 

  Linking their arms, Evelyn lead Alex through the village, returning the gestures with a smile and nod, though Alex could feel how tense she was. "They need some hope, this is good." He whispered reassuringly, though she didn't feel the same as him. "I just don't want to be revered; I'd rather be at least respected for the risks I've taken. Besides, I didn't do this alone." She said, heaving a soft sigh. "Anyways, I'll fill you in on what you've missed." She said, before launching into an explanation of the war meeting they'd had earlier, as well as pointing out landmarks for Alex. Evelyn recounted the creation of the Inquisition, as well as how she'd decided to join the efforts in restoring peace. 

  "It'll be nice to be apart of something bigger than myself." She ended, letting them fall into a comfortable silence. Alex knew the feeling well, and a part of him wanted to protect this view, yet to be tarnished by doubt and responsibility. Despite him being an only child, he'd always wanted a younger sibling, and he felt that she fit the bill rather perfectly. It saddened him to think about the things she'd face in the near future, and that he might not be able to help her.

  Eventually, they stood in front of the Chantry. Since he'd been so tired the last time he'd been here, Alex didn't get the full beauty of it, standing tall with beautiful architecture. "Wow." He breathed, in awe from it's magnitude. The pixels on his screen could've never captured it beauty quite right, in fact, it was almost ugly compared to the real thing. "I'm sure everyone would like to know you're awake, and some time to speak with you. Whenever you're ready." Evelyn said, gesturing to the tall doors with a smile. Taking in a deep breath, Alex exhaled, then pushed them open.


	7. Facing the Hydra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the chapter is kinda short, but they've been kinda long lately, so that's gotta count for something?

Alex was nervous. REALLY nervous, now that the prospect of meeting and lying to these important figures was seconds away from happening. He stiffly approached the door on the other side of the Chantry, keeping his gaze trained on the door. "They're not that bad, you've nothing to be worried about!" She tried to assure him, but he couldn't help but worry. What if they figured out he was lying? What if they still suspect he had something to do with the explosion of the Temple? Standing in front of the door now, he took a deep breath, before letting himself and Evelyn in.

  The first person he saw was Cassandra, leaning over the war table and thinking something over. When she caught his gaze, she stood up straight and gestured them over. "This is Ser Alex Smith, who fell from a rift like the Herald. He claims to be from Ferelden, and innocent for the explosion." She introduced him to the other three, even though Leliana already knew who he was. He looked over at Josephine, who was dressed a bit more normally than in the game, adorned in a more modern and suitable for Haven. Her navy dress went down to the floor, covering some gold ballet slippers, with the dress having simple golden accents and gold ruffle-y sleeves. Her waist was cinched with a gold silky cloth tied around her. She looked a bit more tired, but held herself with confidence and grace. Leliana looked the same as in-game, youthful and beautiful, with a wisdom beyond her years. Turning to glance at Cullen, he was surprised to see that he looked a bit younger than the game depicted, his amber eyes shining brilliantly and stubble kept clean. He still had on his mantle and armor, and his hair neatly slicked back. Must be sometime before the worst of his symptoms would develop.

  "That's me. Nice to meet you all." He greeted, a small grin that portrayed just how nervous he was. Evelyn placed a hand on his arm, offering her silent support. "Ser Alex, it is a pleasure to meet you in person. I am Ambassador Josephine Montilyet." Lady Josephine greeted, her accent lovely and unique. Cullen bowed his head in greeting, which Alex returned. "I'm Commander Cullen Rutherford." He introduced simply. Leliana remained silent, sing they'd already met. "Your accent is strange, I've never heard it before." She noted, looking him over once more, as if she was assessing him. She probably was. Alex straightened up as the attention was directed all onto him. "It's changed over the years of being away in other lands, fading and what not." He explained, placing his hands behind his back, much like her own stance. She took his explanation and thought it over, deciding it was sufficient enough.

  "Where is your village?" Cullen asked, crossing his arms. "West of Ostagar, Commander. It was destroyed during the Blight." He replied. "Once I'd seen its ruins, I decided to travel, and to not get tied down to anywhere else." That earned him a look of sympathy from Josephine, but he didn't look back at her. He would never deserve anyone's sympathy, based on a lie. "And where were you during the Blight?" The Commander continued to press. "I did what everyone else did; I joined the fight against the darkspawn, aiding wherever I could. I was dismissed due to an injury." Alex explained, shifting his weight uncomfortably. "I would rather not discuss that any further, sir. It's not a good subject." He warned in a softer tone. Cullen relented, nodding as he backed down.

  Leliana didn't look anymore convinced then when this little interrogation had begun, but it seemed Josephine was on his side, and Cullen was no longer half-glaring at him, so he considered it a win. "Forgive me for my bluntness, but it's a bit convenient that everyone who could've identified you is scattered to the winds or dead." Leliana confronted, placing her gloved hands onto the table and looking him in the eyes. If he'd been a normal person back from where he'd lived, Alex might've flinched under the pressure. He mentally thanked all of his instructors for the strict lessons on keeping face. 

  "I believe someone else is responsible for the Conclave." Cassandra spoke up, and Alex was a little surprised to hear her somewhat come to his rescue. "While you may not believe his story, Ser Alex was a good man to have while up at the Breach, and protected the Herald where I couldn't." She spared him a small smile that he returned genuinely. "Thank you, that means a lot to me. If it means anything, I would like to join the Inquisition." He said with determination in his eyes. "What can you offer us?" Leliana questioned. "I've fought many battles, as a Captain. I would be honored to help fight, or whatever else you need. I specialized in tactics, ma'am, if that helps you decide anything." Alex looked at them anxiously, fiddling with his shirt. "I could use the help in training recruits, if you're as good as you say. What of your injury?" Cullen asked, a bit more open to the idea. He bowed his head. "I will make sure it doesn't become an issue, sir."

   Leliana frowned slightly, crossing her arms. "I will keep a close eye on you. If you're hiding anything, I will know." It was no threat, but rather a promise. Alex mentally reminded himself to refrain from any potential slips in his cover story. "Then it's decided. Meet up with Lady Ambassador after the meeting to establish your pay and whatnot. You'll refer to the Commander for any other orders." Cassandra ordered, holding out a hand for him to shake. He shook it with a small grin. "Welcome to the Inquisition."


	8. Home?

  Like he was ordered to do, Alex met up with the Lady Ambassador immediately after the meeting, holding open the door for her politely. Josephine thanked him before gesturing him inside and to the chair facing her desk. He took a seat, Josephine doing the same. Adjusting her clipboard, she then smiled at him with her warm, friendly smile. "Ser Alex, I just wanted to ask you a few questions for your profile before discussing your payment, if that's alright?" She informed. Alex nodded his consent.

  "Very well. Your age?" "I am twenty-six." "Birth date?" "The twelfth day on the final month of the year." Josephine and he carried on like that for a little while, him making little quips here and there to help her warm up to the soldier. "Thank you, Ser Alex. Your base pay will be twenty silvers a week, each paycheck will be kept with me until you're ready to withdraw your funds. Your meals, as well as housing, will be provided. Speaking of housing, where will you be staying? We can assign you a new tent -" Alex cut her off. "I'm alright with bunking with the Herald, so long as she's okay with it too. I appreciate the offer, but I don't do well with strangers, and I can better protect her this way." He rejected politely. Josephine nodded. "I will ask her when she has an extra moment to spare. In the mean time, perhaps it would be a good idea to socialize a little. You'll be working with many of our people, and for them. Supper will be ready in an hour from now." She informed, before standing and gesturing for the door. He stood, thanked her for her time, and headed out into the cold afternoon air. 

  Upon looking around, he spotted the Spymaster at her table, but decided against interrupting her work. Instead, he made his way over to where he knew the dwarf would be situated at his own little tent. Despite Haven's greater size than he was used to, he was immensely thankful that the main walkways were familiar. "Spitfire! It's good to see you up and about after our long hike yesterday. How are you holding up?" Varric asked, offering him a friendly grin and offering a seat at his fire. Alex plopped down onto the log opposite of him. "Honestly? Exhausted. But knowing that the Breach is somewhat controlled helps me sleep easier." He admitted, rubbing the back of his neck as he let out a sigh, a cloud bellowing out from his lips. "Tell me about it. Watching demons pour out the sky was pretty shitty. Bad for morale would be a pretty big exaggeration." Varric held his hands out to warm against the flames.

  "Evelyn will help us all fix this, I know it. Just... please protect her while you're out doing good for people. I won't always be there to help her, and I'd feel better to have someone watching out for her too." He asked, voice turning into more of a whisper. She wasn't just the Herald, Evelyn was now his friend. He didn't have many of those these days. "Don't you worry, I'll take care of Smiley. We need a miracle to fix this mess, and now we've got a shot, even if it's small. Bianca and I will keep her safe." Alex and Varric shared grins, Alex leaning over and clapping him softly on the shoulder. "I appreciate it. See you at the tavern later?" He asked, getting up with a grunt. "Wouldn't miss it." The dwarf replied, before Alex took off towards the training grounds. 

  Exiting the gates, Alex gasped softly. Like many things in the game so far, the grounds were much larger and better equipped than shown in the game. There were more practice dummies and weapon racks, some wooden and others plain ole steel. He could see the Commander back at work the latest recruits, running through a few light exercises to unwind from the day of hard work. The stables further away held what few horses they had, but had enough room to house more whenever they would receive horses from Dennet.

  That's right, Evelyn and the others would be leaving soon to head to the Hinterlands and restore some peace there, offer relief after the carnage the war with the mages and templars had brought. Would they bring him along? Or would he stay here? He wasn't sure which option was any better. While he wanted to offer what he could to the others suffering, Alex wasn't sure as to how he'd be able to get back into the constant fighting and such. However, if he stayed here, would Evelyn be injured? Would she come back unscathed? He decided it was something to ask her about later, instead walking closer to the soldiers to observe their current progress. Cullen met his eyes for a moment, amber meeting hazel, before the Commander offered a nod then returned his attention to his tasks at hand. 

  Alex shifted his weight uncomfortably as a few eyes landed on him, not staying long in order to maintain focus on the stretches. Though they were obviously new, Alex saw potential in the lot, and that drew a smile. He began the trek back to the tavern, now more eager to fall into his new role. Along the way, Solas joined him, walking side by side. "How are your injuries fairing?" The elf asked, hands behind his back as they walked. "I hardly feel them now. Thank you, for treating me. I'm not sure anyone else would have." He thanked, offering a side smile. Solas returned it. "You're welcome, Ser Smith. I admit, they were a bit odd. Do you remember facing any trouble while crossing the Fade? Or did you receive them prior to the rift?" Alex was a bit caught off guard by his questioning. He hadn't thought about it, now that the sting of his wounds were at a minimum. "Before, actually. I was caught up in a spat before I blacked out. I don't remember anything from the Fade, unfortunately." He explained, looking ahead. He heard the elf hum in acknowledgment, but they fell into a silence the rest of the way to the Singing Maiden.

  A warmth beckoned him inside as Solas held the door open for him. Thanking him softly, he spotted Varric and Evelyn already sitting at one of the tables in the back, waving them over. Solas and he followed, sitting down while Varric waved for one of the barmaids. "How'd it go?" Evelyn asked him, propping her hand under her chin. "Well. Now all I've got to do is wait for tomorrow to start my real work. Did Josephine ask you about bunking together?" She nodded. "Yes, and I let her know I was okay with it too. I felt weird having a cabin to myself anyways while everyone else had to share their homes." She admitted.

  While they were chatting, Flissa came over with bowls of ram stew, bread, cheese, and stronger ale. They all thanked her, taking their respective items and eating. As the night dragged on, ale kept coming as Varric told one of the many tales from when he'd traveled with Hawke and the others. "And then they all ran out screaming, pants-less!" Varric exclaimed, gaining laughs from everyone at the table. "That reminds me of this one time, we were all in training at the time, and we decided to play this trick on one of the rookies. We were out in our tents when my buddy started fuckin' with him, rattling the bushes and whatnot to scare him. The guy comes wandering out in only his smallclothes, looking around for the cause when I jumped out at him, dressed in these dark robes and face painted white like a ghost. He shrieked, turned on his heel, and ran like his life depended on it through camp, still naked! Of course, we were all in so much trouble, but it was so worth it." He ended, a big grin on his face. His company fell back into more laughter, cheeks turning pink from the alcohol. 

  After a few more stories, Alex stood, stretching. "I ought to be going, work starts in the morning. I'll catch you all later." He said, waving goodbye as he headed back toward his shared cabin. The walk through the snow helped him sober up, his mind more at ease. He felt better about his situation, rather than dreading the things he'd miss back home. Well, perhaps Thedas was his home now. Wherever the Inquisition would take him, he'd follow til the day it disbanded.

A rather large parcel sitting in front of his door made him pause. He bent down and picked it up, reading the small note attached to it. 'For Ser Alex Smith; A welcome gift from the Inquisition. -Josephine' The note was written in beautiful cursive, signed with Josephine's curly letters. He brought it inside, where he noticed a new bed set up as well as a changing wall set somewhat in between his and Evelyn's side. He plopped down onto the bed and opened the package, pulling out a few articles of clothing. They turned out to be a few outfits, more tailored to fit him. He hadn't thought about it when he'd given his sizes to her earlier, and it surprised him on how fast it was ready. There was two regular everyday outfits, a cotton long-sleeved red shirt and black breeches to match. The other had a gray shirt like the first and dark brown, nearly black pants. A new pair of brown boots accompanied the package, along with socks and a belt. 

  There was also a rather fancy outfit consisting of a black button-up and matching form-fitting pants, a red overcoat with black and gold accents matching the set, almost flame-like. How ironic, he couldn't help but think. Fancy, shiny black boots were paired up with this one. Finally, there were a few loose-fitting articles for both sleeping and working out in the warmer weather, along with a better quality black wool cloak. Spotting something at the very bottom, Alex pulled it out, finding a simple set of leather armor, with a short torso coverage, small pauldrons, gauntlets, as well as shin guards and a belt for his sword. He'd also received a few hygiene items, like a comb and small blade he assumed was for shaving. "I really gotta thank Josephine, this is so much." He murmured, touched by her thoughtful gifts.

  Alex stripped down to his briefs, glad he got to keep one thing rather than having to wear the weird thong looking smallclothes. Once he cleaned himself off using the water in the basin, he pulled on some soft pants and crawled into the new bed, curling up under the covers. If he laid out, he was a little too tall for the bed, but he preferred to curl up on himself anyways. Letting out a soft yawn, Alex slowly drifted off to sleep, unknowing to the nightmares he'd be plagued with the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It makes me so happy to know that people actually like my story, so thank you for even taking time out of your day to read this. It means more than y'all will ever know! : )


	9. Nightmares

  When Alex opened his eyes, he was no longer in his bed back in Haven, but now racing towards the home that'd ended his military career. He tried to stop himself, but his body wouldn't listen, drawn by the shouts of help that came from within the fiery inferno. He barreled into the home, ashes and coals flying as he searched for the source. The smoke burnt his eyes, the ground emitting heat through his boots. It was hard to breathe, but he wouldn't stop until he'd found the source. Like he had before, Alex came across the elderly woman huddled into a corner on the ground upstairs. Heaving her over his shoulder, he carried her hurriedly toward the entrance he'd come from. 

  As he ran toward the exit, his boot caught onto one of the loose floorboards, sending him onto the ground and the lady rolling a bit in front of him. Before he could get back up, a loud snap was heard over the roaring blaze. Alex turned to look over his shoulder in time to see a large beam hurdling toward him, and he was unable to move as it -

  Alex jolted away with a silent scream escaping him, wheezes the only audible thing coming from him as he tried to control his breathing. His back seemed to be alight with pain he knew was just phantom pains, but he couldn't will them to stop. The world was a blur, and the blankets encasing him made him feel too trapped. He threw them off of him, hurrying out of the door and into the cold night without another thought. He didn't stop his frenzied walking until he was outside of the village, standing in front of the frozen lake, the Breach's green aura reflected onto the ice. He sagged tiredly as he came out of his trance, hugging himself as the wind nipped at his bare skin. Alex welcomed it, as it soothed the fire he still felt dancing on his skin. His feet began to go numb in the snow, and he shivered, but he paid it all no mind as he sat on the ice and gazed up into the night.

  There was no way he'd escape his hell for long, no matter where he went or how tired he was. It was rare that he'd get a full night's rest, even more rare that he'd have a good dream for once. The stars and moons offered him silent company, the solitude from the village both giving him comfort while making him feel lonely. No one could understand what he'd went through, and is continually tortured with in his head. Even back home, he was alone more often than not. A sob escaped him as tears spilled, freezing on his cheeks. Alex couldn't keep them quiet as he let it out, the grief and fear that gathered inside him daily. He poured his heart out into the silent night, crying as the cold seeped the energy from his bones.

  Crunches in the snow made him freeze, swiveling around the see who was trespassing in his moment of self-pity. Leliana's purple armor blended into the dark around her, but her hood was down, revealing her soft red hair. As she got closer, she gasped softly at the state he was in. Despite only being out for what felt like minutes was a bit longer, his lips began to turn an alarming shade of blue as frostbite threatened to take him. Her eyes swept over his large scar on his back, but she quickly returned her attention elsewhere. "Alex, you need to get indoors. You're going to hurt yourself if you stay out here." She said soothingly, slowing placing a hand on his shoulder. He flinched, but didn't pull away. "Okay." His voice was tiny, almost swallowed up by the wind. "Come." She beckoned, offering her hands to help him up. Alex looked at them almost suspiciously before taking them, her warmth spilling from inside the gloves she'd switched her gauntlets with. 

  She pulled him up, hugging him to her side as she led him back to the village. Alex was too out of it to really reflect on anything that was happening, eyes trained on his bare feet. Leliana brought him to her tent via another hidden route. Once inside, she closed the flaps and stirred the fire back to life. She forced his feet into a pair of boots and placed blankets on him slowly. He didn't like them being so close, brushing against his back, but the warmth was more pleasant now, so he allowed her to wrap him up. Leliana sat him down a bit from the fire, but close enough to get more warmth. She began boiling some water. "Alex, what were you doing out there?" She asked, nearly a whisper. "I needed to get away. It was too hot, too close. Nightmares." He managed to say, teeth chattering. Leliana handed him a cup of hot water, which he took with a small nod in gratitude.

  Now that the craziest of it all was over, he was left feeling drained, but he knew he wouldn't dare try to sleep. "Do you have these nightmares often?" He nodded. "Usually every night." He admitted. It was strange, he'd never told even his mother this, but he couldn't patch the dam on his filter. "It's all the same thing. From that night." She shushed him gently, and he shakily sipped the water. "You don't have to explain anything to me, but I appreciate you sharing nonetheless." She paused. "Once you're warm, I'll take you back to your cabin. Consider putting off training tomorrow." Leliana added, before they fell back into silence. 

  After about twenty minutes later, the sky hinting pink on the horizon, Leliana had taken him back to the cabin and left without a word. Evelyn had miraculously remained asleep through all of this, snoring softly. Alex quietly changed into some warm clothes, deciding to put his armor on when it was closer to morning. He sat in front of the fire silently, staring into the flames with distant eyes, falling into a half-asleep trance as he waited for the sun to emerge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if Leliana is a bit OOC, I just thought they should have some kind of bonding moment.


	10. Adjusting

By the time Evelyn woke up, Alex had already brought them both breakfast, the early sunlight filtering through the window curtains. "Morning, Evie. I just to make sure you had everything before I went to start the day." He greeted, dressed in the same white shirt he'd slept in but with some comfortable, slightly form-fitting black breeches, not unlike sweatpants. He washed his face before lacing up his boots and tugging on his cloak, stuffing the rest of his toast into his mouth. "Don't do anything rash, you know where to find me should you require my assistance." Alex warned once he'd finished it, bringing over her tray. He was extra careful with it, not wanting to spill the hot tea and food on top. Once she had it on her lap, he stoked the fire. "You'll do fine, Al. You've nothing to worry about." She assured him, as if she could read his thoughts that were swimming with what-ifs. 

  He smiled at her, which she returned sleepily. "Thank you for breakfast. I'll drag you away for your lunch break, I have a feeling you'll try to skip." She added, digging into her fruits and bread. "Fine, fine. See you later, bud." He said, heading out the door to start the new day. Alex took in a deep breath, the crisp morning air helping keep him awake and alert. He was grateful that she'd missed his eye bags and pale skin, and hoped the Commander would do the same. He could function on less sleep, and still serve fairly well. Before he could chicken out, Alex walked outside the gates, pulling his warm cloak closer as he neared the training grounds.

  Not many soldiers were out yet, except for a few veterans and the Commander himself. Alex went up to him and saluted, offering a greeting to him before Cullen at-eased him. "Go ahead and warm up, but take it easy. The others will still need to complete their morning jog before they can begin." He assigned. Alex nodded, saluting him once more before jogging over to one of the weapon stands displaying steel practice weapons. He was glad Cullen hadn't said anything about his appearance. It didn't matter what you looked like on the battlefield, anyways. Selecting a sword for himself, he tested the weight. It was similar to his borrowed sword sitting in the cabin by his bed, though not quite as nimble as his. Alex browsed a bit longer before picking out one of the more slimmer one-handed swords. He laid it on the ground in front of him on top of his cloak, the ground cleared of snow for training, and went through all of his usual morning stretches slowly. 

  No one paid him too much attention as they trickled into the formation, getting ready to complete their unit run. Alex abstained, not wanting to tire himself too quickly. He may have been fit, but not as much as he used to be in his youth. He stood at parade rest while everyone jogged around the training grounds a few times, eventually stopping and going to their places in formation. Cullen called us to attention. "Morning. Today, there's someone joining our ranks. Please help Ser Alex settle in, and take him seriously. We will split into groups, veterans assessing where the recruits skills lack." Commander briefed, causing a few youngings to glance his way, breaking military bearings. He'd have to talk about that with his group once he knew them better. "Sir, yes sir!" They all shouted in unison, before Cullen assigned them all into groups. 

  In front of Alex stood about ten recruits, ranging from eighteen to late thirties. He'd never been more thankful for his expertise in hand-to-hand combat, adding a sword to the mix was a piece of cake. "Alright, recruits. I'm Captain Alex Smith, you may call me Captain. Am I understood?" He asked, his voice strong and stern. His group shouted an affirmative, to which he smirked in contentment. "Alright. We'll work on defenses. Pair up, one of you on the offense and the other defense. Begin when I say." He explained, waiting a few seconds for the cadets to pair up with whomever. "You may begin. Offense, give it everything you've got! Defense, protect yourself and counter!" He called out, and the loud cracks of the wooden swords filled his ears. Alex took in each pair's stances and tactics, pausing matches to correct anything he'd immediately seen. 

  "Stop! I want one of you to take the offense, and come at me. I want you all to pay close attention to my stances and actions. Always remain vigilant and observant of your enemies." He barked. A woman stepped forward, one out of the two in his party, early-twenties with black hair tightly held in a bun and brown eyes, her skin a soft brown. "I'd be honored, Captain." She said. He looked her over. "What's your name, recruit?" He asked. "Fraiser, ser. Cadet Hera Fraiser. Pleased to meet you." She introduced, holding out a hand for him shake. He obliged. "Likewise. Ready when you are, Cadet Fraiser." Alex replied, twirling his sword experimentally as he slightly lowered himself into position. A short silence overcame their group as they watched. 

  Fraiser looked him over for any weak points, circling him slowly. Alex kept his front to her, not allowing her any access to his back. She then lunged forward, swinging the blade at his side. Alex deflected it with his own blade, darting out with his elbow. It connected with her side harshly, but she recovered quickly as she sent a kick to the back of his knees. Alex jumped over it, using her momentum to his advantage as he shoved her away. Fraiser lost her balance, falling onto her hands and knees. Alex was quick to hold his blade to her neck, and she surrendered. "Good job, rookie. I like your boldness." He complimented, holding out a hand for her to take. She did, and he pulled her up, both sharing a grin.

  After a few more rounds, Alex was sweating, and he spotted Evelyn waiting for him to finish patiently. "Alright soldiers, meet back here in thirty!" Commander shouted, to which everyone yelled back, "Sir, yes sir!" Alex jogged over to the Herald, who offered him a towel. "You're doing well, Al. I told you that you would." She said with another smile. He nodded, wiping off his forehead with his towel. "That you did. They're a good bunch, 'specially that Fraiser. She'll make a fine soldier." He said, sipping from the waterskin she offered him. Evelyn laid out a blanket on the ground and pulled out some wrapped parcels from her bag. "I grabbed what I could before the tavern was too crowded." She said as he unwrapped one of the cheese wedges, taking nibbles and enjoying the cheddar taste. "Thank you, I probably wouldn't have been able to get anything otherwise." He thanked.

  The two of them chatted for a bit about what they'd done since that morning. "Leliana and Cassandra have been discussing visiting the Hinterlands sometime soon. They're in dire need or relief; they've been hit hard from the war." She said, swallowing a bite of her sandwich. "I was wondering if you'd want to tag along with Cassandra, Varric, Solas, and I. We could use all the help we can get." Evelyn offered, glancing over at him. Alex shrugged. "I'll go if you'll have me." He said without hesitation, causing her to smile again. "I'm glad. We'll leave in two weeks time, and it'll take a few days to reach our destination. We should be back in about a month." She informed, and he nodded as he soaked up the information. Of course this would all take longer, now that it was all in the flesh and blood. No one could travel across the continent in minutes. At least they'd still have some horses, though they still needed better mounts from Dennet soon. 

  Soon they finished up their lunch, parting with a hug before returning to their respective duties. Hours later, Cullen dismissed them for the rest of the night, urging them to get some rest. Before Alex could leave, Cullen called him over. He went over to his Commander and bowed his head respectfully. "What's up?" He asked, realizing it was a little too causal too late. Cullen wasn't bothered by it. "I just wanted to say that you've done some good work, and I'm glad you're settling in well with your squadron." He praised, while Alex blushed modestly. "It's a start, Commander. They're good recruits, and they'll do well. I only hope I can keep up." He replied, placing his hands behind his back. Cullen hummed in acknowledgement. "You'll do fine. But do get some rest, Captain. We'll just get busier from here on out." He advised, and the statement couldn't have been more true. "I will. Take care, Commander." He then bowed his head once more, and walked towards the tavern to collect his supper and unwind with his new friends.


	11. Belonging

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, I went out of town to relax. I'll still probably be a little behind, now that I've caught up to the amount of chapters I had pre-written. Buuut I promise I'll still update at least once a week! Now, enjoy the next chappy!

Alex worked hard for the next week and few days. He woke up early, ate breakfast with Evie, then went straight to the training grounds, wanting his group to have things to work on in his absence. He pushed them hard until they nearly collapsed by the time Cullen dismissed them, and they could all see the improvements it made. He'd begun to sweat more, and feel more fatigued when sparring with them. It filled him with pride to see what a difference he'd already helped them make. When the sun had set, he met up with Evie, Varric, Solas, and sometimes Cassandra for dinner, exchanging jokes and stories. Deep down, he finally felt that he somewhat belonged here. Of course, he still missed his family terribly, but it became bearable with his companions to keep his thoughts above the clouds.

  With the rest of the night and the day tomorrow to spare for the incoming trip, Alex grinned at his recruit-turned-comrades. "I'm incredibly proud of the effort you've put in for me. Please keep up the good work while I'm away with the Herald, so we don't lose that progress. Lets meet at the tavern later, and celebrate our achievements!" He exclaimed. The group shouted their approval, mirroring his excitement and pride. 

  Once Cullen dismissed the unit, Alex hurrying back to his cabin to change and meet with Josie. He'd need the money to drink, after all, and he wanted to have something left for the journey. He changed into his nicer red shirt, leaving the strings loose and exposing a bit of his chest tastefully. The pants that came with them clashed pleasantly, and he slid on his boots. When he finished dressing, he stood in front of the mirror and examined himself. He'd lost a little weight and began to look more fit like he did when active duty, his hair a little longer than when he'd arrived. He'd need to touch up his fade soon, but it didn't look too bad yet. He'd darkened up a bit from all the sunlight, still a little burnt from the first few days he'd gone without any kind of cream. It may have been cold, but it was usually sunny, warming up a bit. Cullen had kindly offered him some when he'd turned tomato red; the pains of fair skin.

  Nodding to himself, he swung his cloak on before hurrying out the door and towards Josie's office. Once he was in front of her door, he knocked, entering when he heard her beckon. Leliana and her were by her desk, glancing at him when he'd entered. "Ah, you're here. I was going to send for you but now that you're here, we have a few things for you." Josephine said, nodding to Leliana. The Spymaster held up something for him to see. Once he'd seen it, he couldn't keep the grin away. His backpack! "We looked through it, and a few objects were rather strange, but we've decided to give it back, along with a few supplies for your trip." Leliana said, handing it over to him. He cradled it, ensuring it was actually there and his, before slipping it on. "We've added a sleeping bag and a blanket, along with two weeks of pay ahead of time and some rations." She added. 

  Alex offered them a smile. "Thank you so much, you've both done so much for the Herald and myself and I'm very grateful." He bowed his upper body at a forty-five degree angle, coming back up. Josie smiled back at him warmly, and even Leliana offered a half smile. "You have worked hard to prove yourself, both of you. This is merely a token of our appreciation. Now then, if there is anything else?" Josephine asked, shuffling some papers. "That's all. If you'll excuse me, ladies." He said before zipping back toward the cabin to drop off his bag. 

  Soon enough, he was at the tavern, coin pouch hidden away and bag stowed at their cabin. Upon entering, it was more rowdy than usual, his team laughing loudly and drinking heartily. The site made him grin, and he was quick to join them. The older ones clapped him on the shoulder, while the young ones offered their greetings. He purchased his own cup of something strong, fully intending on partying with them til he passed out. Alex could spy Varric out the corner of his eye, surrounded by others, captivated by whatever tale he was spinning. Evie was included in the crowd, Cass and Solas nowhere in sight. 

  His vision blurred and words slurred as he lost himself in his cup, laughing loudly and singing obnoxiously with his mates. Evie grabbed his arms, leading him back towards their cabin after bidding the soldiers and Varric a goodnight. Next thing he knew, Alex was waking up in bed with a headache, Evelyn sleeping in her bed, dawn not yet breaking. Alex slipped out slowly and quietly, this time fully-clothed and warm. The alcohol in his blood hadn't fully passed yet, but he was much more sober now. He found himself walking back towards the training grounds, toward the frozen lake and onto the wooden docks.

  However, someone had already beat him there. He could see the back of a man, sitting on the ledge in front of him. When Alex was close enough, he was surprised. "Commander?" He called out softly, recognizing Cullen's blonde curls and strong build. He was dressed what he assumed were his night clothes, a simple white tunic and comfy pants with his boots left unlaced. Cullen flinched, turning around to see who'd said his name. "Oh, it's you." He said, voice a bit raspy. Alex walked closer, sitting beside him with some space between them. Neither of them said anything else for a bit, glancing up at the starry night sky. "It's a bit late for you to be out." Cullen finally uttered, Alex shrugging. "The same could be applied to you. Trouble sleeping?" He asked, keeping his gaze in front of his.

  The Commander let out a heavy sigh. "Yeah. You?" It surprised him to hear the Commander to admit it so openly, but he was glad to have something in common with his superior. "Normally, yes. I can't sleep for long when drunk, unfortunately. Not that I get a lot on a typical night." He rambled a bit. Silence fell back over them. The wind began to pick up a little, and he remembered what little protection Cullen had on against it. He slid off his cloak and laid it onto their laps, the Commander's head shooting up to look at him quizzically. "It's cold. Can't have you getting sick, can we?" Alex defended himself, flushing a little. Cullen gave a small half smile that made his scar stretch a bit. "Thank you." He replied, looking back up at the skies. Alex followed his gaze, cheeks still a little warm.

  While gazing into the dark navy abyss of a night sky, Alex felt at peace. A definite improvement from mere days ago, where he couldn't even stop crying enough to look at all the positives. Alex had a job, an important one, food, shelter, and was surrounded by friends. Yes, he didn't have his mom or his dog, and he stopped taking his meds to save them for the bad days, but Alex was doing okay. Everything would be okay. He felt relieved by his realization, a weight slipping off into the snow he didn't know he'd been carrying. 

  When coming out of his daze, Alex felt a weight on his shoulder, and soft snores buzzed in his ear. He chuckled quietly, relishing in the warmth he gave off for a moment, before deciding he'd try and carry him back to his tent. The more sleep he could get, the better. With that in mind, Alex gently shuffled the Commander around, hopping off the dock and keeping the Commander up. Once he was down, he pulled the Commander off the docks and onto his back, piggyback style. The man groaned softly, shifting, before settling down in his new position. Thanking the stars he didn't wake, Alex carried Cullen back to the tent, placing him onto his cot before stoking the fire and covering the man with his sheets.

  Once Cullen was tucked in, he left the tent and returned to the cabin, tugging everything off except his shirt and underclothes. Sliding into bed, Alex found sleep easier, and wouldn't wake for the rest of the night.


	12. Preparation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, I'm kinda falling back into another mental issue thingy which sucks, but here you go! It's kinda short but I like adding all of this details in at the same time. Let me know if you think it's going too slow; I was thinking about speeding up any other trips he takes that're less important, but since this one is pretty significant, I was gonna take my time?? I dunno.

When Alex had awakened the next morning, he felt much more refreshed and rested than he had in a while, despite his slight hangover. Glancing over at Evelyn's side, he noted that she'd already gotten up and started the day before him. Dressing quickly into the gray shirt and brown breeches, he laced his boots and tugged on his cloak quickly. They'd be leaving tomorrow morning, and he had to be ready for it. Since Leliana and Josephine had kindly started the shopping for him, Alex had more time to relax before the big trip, which he still greatly appreciated. With a plan in mind, he pushed out of the cabin and into the bright sight of the village, bustling with life.

  Alex first visited Adan, wanting a few potions to keep on hand for the trip. Once he'd asked the older man politely and offered his assistance in a few errands, he'd relinquished the liquids into his possession. Next, he visited the few merchant stalls still set up in Haven, most having fled during the chaos of the Conclave. He didn't blame them. At the stands, he purchased extra rations and blankets, as well as any travel hygiene items he could need. He added a few apples and carrots to his bag for his mount, which he'd be assigned to later that day. 

  He made a trip out to meet with Harritt, the blacksmith, and requested some better armor and a nicer sword when he returned, in exchange for some more quality resources. He made sure to grab a small map of the Hinterlands to mark the places he'd see ores and whatnot. Before he knew it, it was reaching noon, and he was hungry after missing breakfast. Alex walked into the tavern, which was less busy due to soldiers being shipped out to scout and carry out various missions Evie agreed on. While he couldn't spot any of his usual buddies, the Commander himself was nursing a cup of watered-down ale at an empty table, seemingly deep in thought. Alex grabbed his serving and plopped down across from him. He didn't know if this applied to Cullen, but Alex hated eating by himself; it was an activity to do around family and friends.

  The Commander startled out of his reprieve and looked up at the Captain, offering a somewhat shy half-smile. "Hello, Captain Smith." He greeted. "It's Alex, outside of the soldier stuff." Alex said, taking a bite of his sandwich. Cullen nodded hesitantly. "Alex, then. You can call me Cullen, if you wish." The Commander added awkwardly. He chuckled, before nodding. "How did you sleep?" Alex asked softly, only audibly to Cullen. The older man rubbed the back of neck with a soft sigh. "Better than I have in a bit. Thank you, but you could've just woken me up." Alex shrugged. "You need what sleep you can get. I'm sure you'd do the same for me." He brushed it off, smiling. "Have you had lunch? I've heard you tend to neglect your health." He continued to push. Cullen rolled his eyes, fighting off a small smile. "Yes. Cassandra would probably hunt me down if I didn't." He replied with a fond smile winning this round, pulling his scar. Alex watched it for a second before pulling his eyes up quickly. 

  "Good, you should take care of yourself better anyways. I'm glad someone's looking out for you, Cullen." Alex admitted. He kind of liked how his name rolled off his tongue, but he didn't let his thoughts stay there long. "I appreciate both of your concerns, no matter how motherly. Anyhow, are you prepared for your trip to the Hinterlands with the Herald?" He asked. Alex sipped his drink to wet his throat. "I've got my supplies, I've just got to meet with one of the stable-hands and figure out which mount I will ride. I've also got some gear being made for my next trip." He explained. He hadn't ridden a horse in a long time, but once upon a time, he'd taken a few lessons when he considered agriculture. Hopefully, Alex hadn't lost the skill. "You've got time, then. While I have your attention, I wanted you to know that what you've done with your group in such a short amount of time is astounding." He complimented. 

  Alex was a bit surprised to hear his praise, blushing lightly and fingering his mug awkwardly. "Thanks, but they're great soldiers. They're the only reason we got as far as we did." He responded modestly. It was true, they were the ones that'd put in the most effort. "You helped push themselves. You can take a little credit for it." Alex shrugged him off, feeling more and more undeserving of the praise. He just did what he was supposed to, that shouldn't warrant such gratitude from everyone. "I guess. Anyways, I'd better get back to the stables. Don't let me take up your free time, Commander." He excused himself politely, uncomfortably hurrying out before Cullen could say anything. Once he was back outside, Alex let out a sigh. "Hopefully he won't be offended over this. Curse me and my stupid stuff." He murmured to himself, smacking himself on the forehead.

  He didn't dwell too long, his destination soon in front of him. Entering the stables, he held back the want to crinkle his nose. Horse shit and sweat wasn't a very pleasant smell, and he had a feeling this would follow him on the path to the Hinterlands. Scanning the area, he approached the stablehand he'd spoken with. "You're here, great. Lets pick out a mount for you." She said, gesturing him over to some stalls. "We've got these three unclaimed ones here. Go ahead and approach any of them, let 'em get a feel for you." She instructed, before returning to mucking out one of the nearby stalls.

  Alex looked over the three horses, all three poking their heads out and looking around. They all varied in size and color, but the biggest one drew his attention almost instantly. He went up to the large mustang, he took in his appearance. Strong, rippling muscles covered with a short black coat. His mane and tail was kept long, his dark, reddish locks falling almost majestically.  He had the slightly overgrown hair on the hooves, further giving him a somewhat wild look. The beast bowed his head to be on leave with Alex's, snorting in his face gently. Alex smiled, raising a hand in permission. The mustang lowered his head further, allowing him to stroke his face softly. Alex knew this was the one he wanted, having fallen in love with his gentleness but untamed appearance. The stablehand came over, wiping her hands on her apron with a small grin. "Him, eh? He's a little older than the rest, but he'll serve you well. What'll you call him?" She asked. Alex thought it over for a moment. "Kane. His name's Kane. Is that okay?" He asked the steed. The mustang whinnied softly, and he took it for confirmation.

  "Kane it is. I'll make sure he's prepared for the journey tomorrow." She said. Alex offered his thanks, bowing in gratitude before heading outside and heading toward his shared cabin to finish preparations and get some rest.


	13. The Journey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know dwarves don't dream, according to the game, but I'm gonna say they dream like we do, since we don't have the Fade?? If that makes sense??

  As soon as the morning came the next day, the gang met up at the main gates with their horse's reins in hand. "Good morning everyone! Let's get this show on the road." Evelyn greeted, emitting her rays of sunshine even at this early time of day. Varric seemed to replicate Alex's grumpy appearance, probably a bit hungover where Alex was just tired as usual. Cassandra and Solas had no problems being up at this hour, looking well-rested and ready to take on the day. Alex envied them, and never lusted more than now for a nice cup of coffee. 

  Everyone climbed onto their mounts and spurred them into a trot, Leliana and Josephine there to wave them goodbye as they exited Haven. A weight fell off of Alex, though he wasn't too sure why. People made him uncomfortable, so he HAD been looking forward to getting out for a while. He'd still miss his unit and new friends, but the outdoors allowed him to finally relax a little since he'd gotten there. Soon, Haven was nothing more than a blur in the distance, framed by the melting snowy landscape. "We'll ride through the day, and allow the horses to rest every few hours. We'll set up camp after sunset." Cassandra decided, and no one went against her. 

  They pushed their horses harder, into a solid, but not too fast gallop. Alex relished in the wind pushing through his hair, a grin tugging at his lips as he breathed in the fresh outdoor smell greedily. They rode in a diamond-like formation, with Alex taking the right flank and Solas on the left, Cassandra at the front, Varric at the back, and Evelyn in the middle of them. Evelyn grinned at Alex, which he returned happily.

  The landscape they ran past was decorated in whites, brown, blues, and little green, spring threatening to overcome the harsh winters they'd been plagued with. The trees were still very bare, but the grass was trying to let out new sprouts, and the snow slowly disappearing to reveal the dead grass beneath it. Animals poked their heads out from their dens, rabbits scurrying and deer staring from a distance. Looking up, Alex took in the light blue sky, pinks and purples still swirling in a few spots as morning rolled in. 

  It wasn't until a few hours later they finally slowed their pace, the horses panting in their effort to keep up. Alex slid off of Kane's back, leading him over to the river they stopped at for a drink. The mustang appreciated it, nudging him affectionately once Alex had removed his bridle. Alex took his own waterskin out, draining it, before wiping his mouth with his sleeve. Evie walked over to him once she'd taken off her own mare's bridle, offering him some jerky to nibble on. He accepted it with a grateful smile. "It's nice to get out for a bit." She said, stretching. Alex was a bit sore, and he knew it'd only get worse from here. His wounds were still a bit tender, but he managed to keep them under wraps. He'd done it when back at Haven too, so it wasn't very hard. Everyone'd seemed to forget that he'd been injured prior to all the excitement, if you could call it that. "I agree. Haven can be a little... suffocating." He said after swallowing, Evelyn nodding. "I'm glad they could spare us some horses; otherwise, the trip would've been wayyy too long." She added. He rubbed his lower back. "I haven't ridden one since I was young; I think my physique's aged a few years in these few hours." He admitted, Evie chuckling at him.

  "At least your horse likes you, old Drea wouldn't obey for the first hour. She even bit the stablehand who was prepping her! You'd think they'd try to give me a more agreeable horse. I won't complain anymore though, I know it's a little selfish. We're lucky to even have them." She rambled, Alex putting a hand on her shoulder sympathetically. "I'm sure once you spend more time with her, she'll grow on you. If not, you can always ride Kane instead." He offered, gesturing to his mount who was now pushing his face against Alex's back in an attempt for attention. Evelyn patted him, Alex stroking his white muzzle. "I wouldn't take him away from you. I'm sure you're right, we just need time. He sure is cute though." She complimented, causing the mustang to snort at her. 

  "Let's get back on the road." Cassandra called out to them. "Alright. We'll talk later." Evelyn and him side-hugged before climbing onto their respective horses, returning to their formation from earlier that morning. Alex finished his jerky, wiping off his hands on his pants before they spurred the mounts back to their earlier pace. It was a few hours later, now sometime in the afternoon, that they took a shorter break. A few hours after that, Cassandra finally allowed them to stop and set up camp for the night. Alex set up his tent fairly quickly, once Kane was taken care of, and went on to get the fire going. Soon, their camp was up, and Alex had the fire dimming. Varric had volunteered to hunt for something fresh, and they eventually had their own portions of cooked rabbit. Varric spun some tales over the fire, everyone enraptured by his tales, though Cassandra would never admit to it.

  "I'm gonna go ahead and get some sleep. You should too." Alex said, standing with a grunt, before excusing himself to his tent. Once inside, after he changed into his nightclothes, Alex pulled out some pills from his backpack, downing them dry. As his pain dulled, he became more tired, and he barely had time to unroll his bedroll before he curled up in it and passed out.

\-------------------------

  It was deeper into the night when Alex jolted awake, sitting up and wiping sweat from his face. He exited the tent as quietly as he could, sitting by the dying embers of their fire from last night. He slowed his breathing to try and calm down, stoking the fire back to life. While he'd longed to sleep for the rest of the night, Alex was glad he hadn't awakened in another fit. He'd learned to accept the small mercies. 

  He startled when someone sat a bit away from him, and he relaxed once he saw it was Varric. "Hey, Spitfire." The storyteller greeted him softly, warming his hands on the fire. "Hey, Varric." He returned half-heartedly, poking at the coals with his stick. "Nightmares?" Varric asked him. Alex nodded. "You?" He replied, slightly smiling from the sense of deja vu he got. The dwarf nodded. "Most of us here got 'em, nowadays. My days with Hawke weren't all pretty." He shared, sliding closer to him. "Military will do that to you, too." He sympathized. They fell into another silence, seeing if the other would spill before them. Neither of them did. Varric pulled out a small flask, taking a gulp before offering it to Alex. He accepted it with a nod of thanks, drinking from the flask. He handed it back with a chuckle. "Strong." He commented, enjoying the burn it left. Varric shrugged with a small smile. "Better than watered-down ale." He retorted, before returning it to his pocket.

  They remained there for a few more minutes, trying to get rid of the fresh nightmare before Varric finally stood. "Should try and get some more rest. Maker knows we'll need it." He suggested, before returning to his tent. Alex basked in the silence for a few more minutes before giving in, returning to his bedroll and struggling to get some shut-eye. Eventually, he sunk into a light sleep.


	14. The Hinterlands At Last

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya, I just entered summer vacation, so expect a better flow of chapters! Hopefully.. Anyways, sorry this took so long, but here it is! Enjoy :D I didn't like how it was before so I re-did this chapter, sorry for the possible confusion.

  The next few days flew by without too many incidents, a few bandits here and there while Alex managed to keep a handle on his nightmares. He finished up strapping Kane back up for the last few hours of riding until they reached the Hinterlands, around early afternoon. "As soon as we get there, let's try and help where we can. The less time we spend here, the better." Evelyn suggested, everyone murmuring their agreements. He swung onto Kane's back, the action much more graceful than when he first started. His thighs didn't burn as much too, so he counted that as improvements.

  They rode on, Alex taking in the sunrise with tired eyes. He was sick of riding, and ready to tackle the bundle of problems awaiting them in the Hinterlands. He lost himself in the surroundings, trying to distract himself from their destination in hopes of time moving faster. Varric himself had taken to chatting, pulling tales out of his ass. Alex listened to them, glad for something to listen to other than the thunderous hooves of their mounts.

  "We're here." Cassandra said, Alex's gaze shooting up from Kane's coat to their surroundings. It looked familiar, like the game, but a bit more dense with nature. The area stank of smoke, and faintly of death. His heart dropped to his stomach, posture slouching as he took it all in. Just in this area alone, he could see many burnt down homes, and refugees fearfully traveling to somewhere safer. It both made him uneasy and disgusted. "This is..." He murmured, trailing off, turning his head around to see it all. "Disgusting." He finished angrily, a fire making a home in his belly. How could these people's supposed protectors do this?

  Evelyn rode up to him and placed a hand on his shoulders, gesturing for him to calm down. He took in some deep breaths to quell the burn. They pushed on, entering the main bustle of the Crossroads. Immediately, mages attacked them, the crew hoping off their mounts while the enemy threw spells and other things, scaring off the horses. Despite anything they'd try to say, they wouldn't listen, and they put them down. It was the same for the templars, unable to see reason even as the group cut them down one by one. It was such a waste, but Alex couldn't quite recognize that in his current mindset.

After the fighting, they whistled for their horses, each one returning to their respective owners. Once Evelyn set up the banner, she turned to the rest of them. "Let's split up, make a list of the requests. Meet back here in a few hours, do what you can. We'll meet with Mother Giselle then." She decided. She then dismissed them all, Alex leading Kane off in a random direction. He managed to get a farmer to look after Kane, the large mustang grazing amongst the druffalo calmly. He gave the man coin for his troubles. "Someone, please help.." He could hear the cries of a man, and followed after his calls.

  When he was close enough, Alex recognized him; the man with his ill wife, needing the potion. He approached the distressed man, who was nearly to tears. "Oh, sir, please help. My wife- she can't breathe, hacks like she's got webs in her lungs. Our son makes the potion to help her, but he's run off to that cult in the hills." The man explained quickly. Alex placed a hand on the elf's shoulder. "Please, calm down. Here, mark where he is. My friends and I shall fetch him." He said softly, handing over his pocket map. The man blabbered his thanks as he marked his map with a black charcoal 'x'. Alex bid him a good day and left, heading toward the hunter by the pot.

  He asked him for rams, less hostile than he'd been portrayed in the game when Alex approached him with only sincerity in his quest to help the refugees. Soon enough, Alex had a decent amount of jobs. Rather than waiting around for Evelyn and the others' help with them all, he did the relatively easy ones. He chopped wood, gathered herbs, and even killed a few bandits. He'd found a bow on one of the bodies, and decided now was as good a time as any to learn how to use it. It'd make killing the rams easier than chasing after them for hours.

  To be blunt, he was bad. You'd think he'd pick it up somewhat easily since they're closer to guns and whatnot, but that wasn't the case at all. Instead, he discovered it was a precise science he'd just have to practice til it was right. Even though he struggled, Alex managed to kill a few, dragging each carcass back to the hunter as he slayed them. By the time they were to meet Mother Giselle, Alex was run ragged. He was sweaty and a little bloody, his shirt and leather armor sticking to him uncomfortably. The others weren't in much better shape, having been busy taking care of what they could by themselves. "Let's meet her, then head to camp and clean up." Evie lead them over towards the woman, caring for a wounded soldier. 

  It didn't surprise them that Mother Giselle had kept her attention on the Herald, barely acknowledging them as she took Evie to the side. Alex turned to his party members. "What've you all done so far?" He asked, thus each one recounting their day of somehow helping the refugees. Solas healed, Varric hunted, and Cassandra did similar labor-intense jobs as Alex. They'd also collected missions that would have to be completed together, due to its distance and difficulty. When Evelyn was finished, she explained to them what the Mother wanted from them, and recalled her day as they returned to camp. Everyone fell into a companionable silence as they washed in the river and ate cooked ram.

  Alex took the first shift, everyone entering their respective tents with quiet 'goodnight's. He listened to the sounds of nature, and the crackling of the fire. He stoked it subconsciously, staring off into the night distractedly. Now that he was alone with his thoughts once more, he entertained the more difficult ones. Was he really never going home? Would he be stuck here for the rest of his life? Could he keep who he is and what he knows a secret this whole time? This isn't just a story anymore, no longer a game. He can't come back to life and redo it. No, he had to get it all right the first time. But what events were safe to change? Alex couldn't just sit there and let people unnecessarily die, but he wouldn't dare alter the timeline in fear of no longer being able to recognize where it was heading.

  Even him being here was a risk. Was he the only one? If so, why was he the only one? All he knew was that he couldn't reveal himself. This wasn't a fanfic where he's accepted with open arms and no hesitance whatsoever. In fact, he was sure that he'd be chased out, or maybe even killed. Besides, if he had all the information, what would stop them from just beating it out of him and leaving him for dead? Not even Evelyn could justify allowing him to stay under the circumstances. No, this was something he'd have to keep to himself. The weight of responsibility rested heavily on him, letting him sag more and more as he thought over everything that would transpire. What could he do, all by himself? He was just one man, not even a mage for that matter. 

  However he thought of himself, Alex had to do it. And knowing he couldn't tell anyone just made him feel that much more alone. 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a hot minute, but here's another update! I know, I'm garbage at updating, but I'll keep writing no matter how long it takes! Woo, determination, what a concept. Anywho, here you go!

  For the next few weeks, Alex and the others worked hard to bring the Hinterlands back from the brink of anarchy. They did every task handed to them, no matter how trivial, without complaint. Well, no complaint to anyone's face. At camp, it was a different story, but Varric did most of the complaining. Their hardwork certainly wasn't wasted, as the Inquisition's reputation rose as word of their assistance spread. Josephine wrote them about the good news, and that their newfound influence has been used to gain favor from the nobility. Leliana's letters were brief and monotone, simply telling them of any threats around the Hinterlands or back in Haven. Cullen sent reports to both Evelyn and Alex of the soldiers' improvements, and assurance that they'd assist in further securing peace within the Hinterlands. Evelyn shot him sly grins when he first KINDA gushed over getting a letter from Cullen. He made her swear not to say anything to anyone, threatening to put nasties in her bed.

  Since his revelation, Alex had purchased a journal, jotting down vague ideas on how he could help this timeline without outing himself, and throwing off the balance. As he'd try to think about to the game, he realized that he'd began to forget it's event, and hurried to scribble them all out. It was possible someone would see it, but he figured it'd be more suspicious if he wrote it all in another language. He'd just have to keep it always on himself, and away from anyone's sight. If anyone had seen it, no one said anything.

  He's also grown closer with everyone, save Solas. Not because of anything in particular other than the fact that he didn't really care too much for knowing about the Fade. Not to mention that back home, there was some kind of drama about him and wolves. Alex couldn't really remember what though.

  Cassandra was a tough nut to crack, but she seemed to respect him enough to endure conversations with him, so he considered that a win. Evelyn and him were closer than can be, except that she'd a bit spaced out. When he asked her, she brushed it off, but he had a feeling that Evie was stressed about all of this new responsibility she's been given. Varric had seemed more at ease with him after they realizing that they both shared night terrors, including him in conversations and telling him stories of his adventures. Alex appreciated the friendliness more than he thought.

  Today was the last day they would be in the Hinterlands, as they were destined to leave for Haven come the next morning; they were currently heading towards the Crossroads to ensure that things would continue to improve while they were away. Alex was ecstatic; not that he disliked the Hinterlands. In fact, he'd grown to enjoy the area after the Inquisition's assistance in securing it. Tensions were on the decline, while the towns within were flourishing from the increase of trade and people. Things were looking up, and it filled him with pride. However, he was ready to return to his old routine and meet with his squad. He missed his soldiers, and his Comman- THEIR Commander. He shook his head to dismiss those thoughts. Not to mention an actual bed was waiting for them. And good food, oh how he missed Flissa's tavern food. Yes, he was very excited to return.

  Alex retrieved Kane, patting his mane lovingly. The farmer had actually maintained Kane and his coat, so Alex made sure to offer whatever extra money he could spare. And he had more money than he'd started with, due to looting bodies and crates. Everyone met up with their mounts near the path they'd used to enter the Hinterlands, glancing at each other to make sure they were ready to depart. Offering a few partings words to their scouts, the team and a few others joined them in pushing back for Haven.

 

 

  The next few days were uneventful as they pushed their horses to return to Haven as quickly as possible. As they neared the gates, they were received by Leliana and Josephine. Josephine had a warm smile on her face, while Leliana offered a curt nod. "Welcome back. I'm sure it's been a long ride; please, rest up a little before our next meeting, Herald. We'll see you soon." Josephine suggested, bowing her head respectfully before nearly dragging Leliana away from them. Alex smiled; it was sweet of Josie to allow Evie time to adjust before being thrown back into the fray of things. Evie and the others handed their reins off to stablehands while Alex refused their offer, leading Kane back to his stall himself. He removed his saddle and head pieces, giving the mustang an affectionate scratch behind his ear before fetching a brush. Alex brushed off his horse before locking up Kane's stall. "I'll see you later, bud." He said, kissing him on his muzzle before hearing a clearing of someone's throat. He spun around to come face to face with Cullen; well, face to chin. He looked up to meet the Commander in the eyes, flushing slightly in embarrassment. "Pretend you didn't see that. Did you need something, Cullen?" He asked, wringing his hands in front of him.

  His Commander gave a small, amused smirk. "There's nothing wrong with being affectionate with your mount." He replied, giving Kane a pat in the neck. "Anyways, I just wanted to welcome you back, and to ask when you'll return to training." Cullen added, slipping back into work mode. Alex shrugged, his blush dying down. "Thank you, sir. I'll return to training tomorrow; I've taken enough time off as is." He said, putting all of Kane's equipment away before walking back over to Cullen. "Have you eaten anything? I'm starving." Alex asked, gesturing towards the tavern. The Commander rubbed the back of his neck. "No, not yet." "Well, let's get something nice and warm then, yeah? I'm ready for some hearty stew." Alex and Cullen began the trek to the Singing Maiden, laughter and music spilling out from the inside. A smile tugged at his lips; this was home.

  Over the time he'd been in Thedas, Alex came into terms that he wouldn't return home. He'd cried about it, fled to the woods surrounding Haven and shouted at the trees of the unfair circumstances. When he only received unsympathetic whispers of the wind, Alex took a step back and breathed. This was his life now, and he can't change that. No amount of tears or screaming would affect his situation. Instead, he looked for the positives. They were few and in between; he missed his old library, the warmth of his apartment, the luxuries, and his mom. But he also loved Evelyn, and their little hut. He had more friends here than he did on Earth, and he rediscovered his passion of helping others. He had Kane, and the advisers, no matter how cold or mean they could be (Not Josie, of course). And that was enough. Although, it was getting harder to keep all of this in mind with his medicine dwindling. He made a mental note to talk to Adan later.

  Alex and Cullen entered the tavern and picked a table away from everyone, waiting for someone to come around with their order. "So, what's the recent developments amongst the soldiers?" He asked. Cullen clasped his hands together and rested his chin on top of them. "Everyone's been receiving each lesson well. They've practiced hard, and we've gotten farther than I thought we would. Your advice has been very helpful, and your group keeps asking about your return. You've made quite the impression." He recalled, smiling. Alex scratched the side of his head bashfully. A waitress took their orders before disappearing into the kitchen. "I've missed them too. I'm glad everyone's understanding things. How's recruitment?" "We've got a more steady trickle of people since you've stabilized the Hinterlands. More and more people are ready to join our cause and pledge their loyalty to the Inquisition." The girl returned with their meals, and they dismissed her with a grateful nod. "That's great! It's good our hard work is paying off." Alex replied, before tucking into his warm meal. Cullen did the same with less gusto. 

  "Have you been taking care of yourself while Cass and I aren't here?" He asked in a slightly paternal tone. The Commander huffed in amusement. "Why you both insist on mothering me, I'll never know. Leliana kept an eye on me for you, so don't worry." He said, sipping his ale. Alex did the same. "And how've you been sleeping?" He asked in a softer tone. Cullen stiffened slightly. "Fine. Thank you for asking." He replied tensely. Alex decided not to press; he knew the trauma that Cullen faced well. They finished their meals in silence, placing the dishes to the side for the waitress to collect. "Well, thanks for keeping me company. See you bright and early tomorrow morning." Alex said with a dazzling smile, before turning on his heel and exiting the Singing Maiden without turning back. 

  Alex walked towards his shared cabin leisurely. Upon entering, he spotted Evelyn on her bed, glancing over at him before flopping back into her spot. "Are you okay, Ev?" He asked, sitting beside her legs. "I'm just tired, Al." She said quietly. He frowned, before scooting down to her head and pulling her into his arms gently. She didn't fight back, instead leaning her head on his chest. "Am I doing this right?" She whispered as he stroked her head calmly. "This situation can't be answered with a simple yes or no answer. But, I do think you're doing the best you can with what you have." He responded. She sniffled softly. "I miss Arthur. He'd know exactly what to do and when." She admitted. He leaned down and placed a peck on the crown of her head. "I know I'm no Arthur, but you'll always have me, okay?" He murmured. She smiled weakly. "I know. You're just as good." Her breathing evened out as she fell asleep in his arms. 

  He couldn't find sleep as easily as she could, but he knew she'd worked the hardest out of the five of them. He made sure she was as comfortable as she could be, leaving her loosely cradled in his arms as he dozed off. 


	16. Back in the Rhythm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorryyy, I was hitting writer's block, as one does. Here's a new chapter, sorry again that its so filler and honestly nasty. Hopefully I'll get passed it all next chapter.

  For the next week, Alex was pretty much left to his own devices. He woke up early, trained with everyone until dinner, then had the rest of the day to do as he pleased. Most of the time, he found himself either sitting with Varric and others in the tavern, telling and listening to tales both adventurous and scary. Other times, he was either writing in his journal or discussing things with the Commander. For better or for worse, Alex was growing closer to those around him, and not just with those in his company. He would even entertain some of the children of Haven when they watched the soldiers during their sparring. While others would've viewed this as a good thing, Alex couldn't stop worrying about whether or not he'd just up and disappear one day, leaving the relationships he'd built behind.

  Cullen had just dismissed everyone when Evie intercepted him, taking him by the elbow gently and leading him away from the others. "I'm leaving again, to Val Royeaux. Mother Giselle asked for us to try and talk to the clerics, it should take about two weeks. I just wanted to let you know; I can't ask you to leave with us again. I know you have obligations to the Commander and our soldiers." She said.

  She was right of course, Alex couldn't really leave again without risking the new lessons he'd been trying to beat into his team. "When?" He asked. "Within the hour. The sooner the better, am I right?" She remarked sarcastically before slumping a little. Alex pulled her into a side hug. "You'll do fine, with or without me. Am I gonna miss you like crazy the next two weeks? Of course, Evie. But are you a capable leader on your own? Yes. I'll be waiting here for you when you come back, so you'd better not be late." He assured. Evelyn smiled, eyes a little glossy as she brought him in for a full on hug. "I'm sorry I'm being dramatic. I've just grown used to you being with me; it's refreshing after people treating me like a deity or threat all day." She apologized.

  He rested his chin on her head for a moment. "It's okay. All this sweet talk is just going to make this harder for me." He joked, sniffling a little humorously. Evelyn giggled. "Okay. See you in two weeks." She said, pulling away. She already looked a bit more hopeful for the long trip to Orlais, and that's all he could ask for. "See you then." He ruffled her hair, causing her to pout at him before waving as she retreated to the hut to grab any last minute items. Alex watched her go with a small frown before hyping himself up a little. Two weeks was nothing, he can survive without his friends for that long. Right??

\--------------------------

  Wrong. He was very wrong. A few days passed and he felt miserable. No Cassandra to spar with, no Solas to pass the time with weird magic talk, no Varric for crazy stories, and no evening chats with Evelyn after a long day. His squad had noticed him feeling a bit more down than usual and either kept off his toes, or tried to cheer him up, depending on his mood that day. It made him feel a bit better knowing others cared, but it wasn't the same. He found himself avoiding the And without the comforting presence of someone else in the cabin, Alex woke more frequently due to his nightmares.

    To sum it up, he was having a VERY shit time.

 One warm morning, they had just completed their warm-ups when the Commander had called them to circle around him. "Today, we're going to have one-on-one rounds, everyone will participate, and I want everyone assessing for any mistakes. Got it?" He called out, receiving a loud affirmation. "You will pair with someone of similar or the same rank. You've got five minutes to sort yourselves. Go!" Everyone scrambled to find a partner while Alex, being the idiot he was, spaced out as he rubbed his face tiredly. Next thing he knew, everyone was paired into twos expect for him.

  "Captain, since you don't have a partner, I suppose I'll have to do." Cullen said with a small smirk. While he physically nodded and moved to grab his practice weapon, he was also mentally yelling at himself. He was about to get his ass handed to him, dammit! Already sweating, he turned back to see Commander Rutherford shirtless and in a defensive position. He tried to convince himself he was flushed from the heat, not his boss's wonderful physique. Alex fell into position, focusing his eyes on the weapon and not on his body.

  Knight-Captain Rylen looked over at us, before starting the match. "Ready, BEGIN!" He called, before Alex and Cullen began to circle the other, assessing their stance and watching for any tell signs of an attack. Deciding to make the first move, Alex lunged for him, but the Commander parried his blow and they crossed swords. Alex knew Cullen was stronger than him, so he went to kick his leg. As predicted, the ex-templar went to block it, allowing Alex to hurry away and put a little distance between them. 

  However, Cullen recovered quickly and followed after him, going in with a swipe of his sword. Alex ducked under the blade and rushed him, his shoulder connecting his torso as Alex's momentum threw the Commander off balance, nearly sending him onto his backside. Instead, he rolled, popping back up in time to narrowly dodge Alex's slice. Cullen smirked up at him, both panting a little and glistening in sweat. 

  Cullen upped his efforts and pressed on into a series of attacks, Alex either blocking the blow or swiftly moving back and out of the way of his range. Suddenly, Alex spotted his opening and thrust his sword, digging the wooden tip into Cullen's side. Taken aback, Cullen let down his guard, allowing Alex to wrestle him into a headlock, cutting off his arm until Cullen tapped his arm in defeat.

  Alex let go of him, allowing the Commander to catch his breath while smiling smugly, wiping a bead of sweat off his forehead. "Good. Next time you show up to my field, though, let it be while you're rested and prepared, yes?" Cullen said, his scolding a bit quieter so only Alex heard him. "Yes, sir. Although, the same could be said for you." He retorted with a half-hearted smile. They shook on it, before departing. 

  Cullen went on to ask them about they'd observed, but Alex drifted off. The only reason Cullen would've lost to him was if he wasn't as well as he made it seem. While Alex was skilled, Cullen was the Commander for a reason. Not to mention Cullen is much better with swords than Alex was, no matter how much practice Alex had been doing in order to catch up. As he looked up at him, his gaze drifted down to ogle at his muscles. Man, he really needed to rein himself in. But yes, while his body was on point, Cullen looked tired. Well, he always did, but more so than usual. Paler than normal, too. He knew he had to say something, since his usual keeper (Cassandra) was out with the Herald.

  After dismissal, Alex walked over to Cullen, who had thankfully pulled on his shirt. "Commander, are you feeling alright? Have you been sleeping?" He asked softly, looking up at him in concern. "Yes, why wouldn't I be?" He replied, clearly avoiding Alex's second question. "You aren't looking too well, sir. And if you're avoiding the question, I'm going to assume no." Cullen bristled a little and began walking off towards his tent. "I'm fine, now please leave-" He cut himself off as he paused, closing his eyes and placing a hand on his face as his legs trembled a little under his weight. Alex hurried to his side and took his arm, pulling it over his shoulders should Cullen need support, before leading him back to his own cabin. 

  Once they were inside, he sat the Commander on his bed and felt his forehead. "Shit. Cullen, you have a fever! You should've stayed inside today, not fight me!" He scolded softly, removing his boots before pushing him down, laying him on his back. "I'm fine, its nothing." Cullen murmured, but didn't bother trying to get up. Alex fetched him a wet rag and placed it onto his forehead, causing him to let out a small sigh of relief. 

  Alex tucked him under the blankets and lit a fire in the fireplace. "Rest. You need it." He said, going to exit the cabin before the slightly delirious Commander caught his wrist. "No, don't go." He whispered. Alex's heart fluttered a little, but he squashed those feelings immediately as he pulled up a chair beside him. "I'm here. Now sleep." Alex reached over and stroked Cullen's head gently, lulling him quickly to sleep. Still exhausted from training, and feeling rather warm, Alex leaned his head on the side of the bed and drifted off.

  The next morning, he woke up tucked into his own bed and a note on his nightstand; 

'Thank you for caring for me. -C'

  Alex smiled, feeling a bit happier. Although, it didn't last when Cullen decided to avoid him the rest of the days his companions were gone. He looked better though, so that was a win, right?


End file.
